Ok. That last post was ridiculous - I don't even want to read it. I can get kinda nutty, so bear with me :)
One thing I wrote a while ago was that it's important to not obsess over these social interactions after trying them. Well, last time I managed to do the exact opposite! It actually takes a lot of willpower for me to avoid that, because I have OCD. Oh well..that just means that if (in the future) I can avoid dwelling on things in the aftermath, anyone can (I think it's somewhat normal to dwell on such things a bit when you're so new to them).
Alright....so as you can see, I've gotten pretty interested in the whole dating game. Not a bad thing, because if I can handle those social situations, I'll be in pretty good shape overall. I'm mainly focusing on that now though out of necessity. Both of my platonic friends seem to be history now.
What happened to them? Well, one of the girls sent me an e-mail asking if I had fun "when we went out." I then decided that I couldn't let it go any further without pointing out that we were strictly friends (I met her on the craig's list "strictly platonic" section; as we've learned, most of the people on there have something else in mind. Ay-yi-yi!). So I very gently indicated as much, telling her that I was already dating someone. It's been a week, no response. And the other girl just seemed to drop off; over a week, no response. Maybe she's just busy, who knows.
Okay....so what's with the title of this entry, you ask? Well, yesterday I cut down on the dwelling a bit, but I was still wondering about the outcome of that first second-date. I knew that overall it went very very well, but I had been ridiculously focusing on the last, ambiguous minute of the 5-hour date.
I'd planned to call her today and ask her out again....find out once and for all how it went. Had a little anxiety about that. I got a pleasant surprise when I checked my e-mail today, though: she had contacted me for the follow-up! Yep....she thanked me for taking her out, said she'd really had a good time, and told me to let her know how my week goes.
Awesome, it's a really good feeling for the girl to initiate the follow-up, because (apparently) that rarely happens. And it means that I completely conquered one of the most difficult date scenarios I could imagine.
So I did all of that worrying for nothing. Ridiculous! From now on I'm going to focus immensely on playing it cool, not worrying, not obsessing over these things. That's an important "skill" to have going forward, and it's one that I can improve every time, regardless of how the actual interactions go.
I'm starting to line up other dates as well. Those should help to evaluate the effectiveness of "Inhibition Solution Theory #2." But I don't intend to neglect the platonic stuff altogether. We're long overdo for a post about approaching people and striking up conversation out in the wild, without the internet to help us. I'll get on it :-)
One thing I wrote a while ago was that it's important to not obsess over these social interactions after trying them. Well, last time I managed to do the exact opposite! It actually takes a lot of willpower for me to avoid that, because I have OCD. Oh well..that just means that if (in the future) I can avoid dwelling on things in the aftermath, anyone can (I think it's somewhat normal to dwell on such things a bit when you're so new to them).
Alright....so as you can see, I've gotten pretty interested in the whole dating game. Not a bad thing, because if I can handle those social situations, I'll be in pretty good shape overall. I'm mainly focusing on that now though out of necessity. Both of my platonic friends seem to be history now.
What happened to them? Well, one of the girls sent me an e-mail asking if I had fun "when we went out." I then decided that I couldn't let it go any further without pointing out that we were strictly friends (I met her on the craig's list "strictly platonic" section; as we've learned, most of the people on there have something else in mind. Ay-yi-yi!). So I very gently indicated as much, telling her that I was already dating someone. It's been a week, no response. And the other girl just seemed to drop off; over a week, no response. Maybe she's just busy, who knows.
Okay....so what's with the title of this entry, you ask? Well, yesterday I cut down on the dwelling a bit, but I was still wondering about the outcome of that first second-date. I knew that overall it went very very well, but I had been ridiculously focusing on the last, ambiguous minute of the 5-hour date.
I'd planned to call her today and ask her out again....find out once and for all how it went. Had a little anxiety about that. I got a pleasant surprise when I checked my e-mail today, though: she had contacted me for the follow-up! Yep....she thanked me for taking her out, said she'd really had a good time, and told me to let her know how my week goes.
Awesome, it's a really good feeling for the girl to initiate the follow-up, because (apparently) that rarely happens. And it means that I completely conquered one of the most difficult date scenarios I could imagine.
So I did all of that worrying for nothing. Ridiculous! From now on I'm going to focus immensely on playing it cool, not worrying, not obsessing over these things. That's an important "skill" to have going forward, and it's one that I can improve every time, regardless of how the actual interactions go.
I'm starting to line up other dates as well. Those should help to evaluate the effectiveness of "Inhibition Solution Theory #2." But I don't intend to neglect the platonic stuff altogether. We're long overdo for a post about approaching people and striking up conversation out in the wild, without the internet to help us. I'll get on it :-)
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