Inhibition is the enemy. It's the enemy of us all, and it's the enemy that I've dedicated my life to defeating for over a year. I have made incredible gains against it, and have no intention of letting up. Deciding to kick the beast while it was down, I went back to SuperBar Saturday for the second straight week.
____________
This time, I was even more relaxed from the start. I took my place in line behind a group of three guys, and one of them acknowledged me. I said, instinctively, "Hey, what's up man?" For a while, I didn't say much of anything, but stood by as if I were a part of the group, listening to the conversation and smiling at things that were humorous. When one of the guys was telling a story, he included me as he shifted his eye contact between audience members. Before long, one of the guys asked me how I knew the other two guys. I had assumed rapport so effectively that he thought I was a friend in his group.
Once inside, I took my time to walk around and explore. The dance floor was relatively sparse that early, so I decided to wait until other couples started dancing before I began my search for a willing partner.
I spotted one of the guys I talked to my first time at SuperBar. I had never gotten his name, but I remembered that he worked there, and his goal in life was to marry the beautiful blonde bartender he had recently met. I walked over, said, "Hey, what's up man?", and shook his hand. I asked him if he had proposed to the girl yet, and we joked around for a couple of minutes over the loud music. I found out his name - Bart - and told him mine. Then I said that I was going to make a pass down the dance floor, and moved on.
Upstairs, I found the group I had come in with. I couldn't hear the conversation over the loud music, so I waited until there was a lull and asked one of the guys if he was going to find some girls. He said he was "just chilling," so I put on my sunglasses, headed back downstairs, and got to work.
____________
This time, I was already warm.
I danced without inhibition, and found people to talk to. When I spotted a beautiful blonde-haired girl I had noticed outside, I went over and spoke to one of her less-attractive friends.
"What's going on?"
She turned towards me for a moment, then turned away.
Nice.
Unphased, I moved on. I saw a couple of girls I had spoken to briefly in line, and spoke to one of them. She said something that sounded like, "It's the guy from the box," but I couldn't really make out the words over the music. I said, "I can't hear what you're saying, but YEAH!!!"
She laughed, and talked with her friend. By now it was pretty crowded, so I was close behind her friend as I danced nearby. I noticed (observation) that her hair smelled good, and asked (following my impulse), "Garnier Fructise?" They asked what I was talking about, and I repeated.
"Garnier Fructise. I was asking if you use Garnier Fructise because your hair smells good."
One of them laughed, and asked how I even knew about that. I ran my hands across my close haircut and joked, "I gotta take care of this!"
I moved on, and found other people to play with.
Or at least, I tried.
Earlier, I had noticed a group of 3 Asian girls dancing together. The tallest one had occasionally danced with a guy who came over, while the other two seemed uptight. I remembered from last week not to judge by appearance, so I experimented by offering my hand to dance with one of the short ones.
Nothing doing. She was as uptight as she looked.
I offered my hand to the taller, fun-looking one just the same. She took it, and we danced briefly, but she didn't seem very into it. Once we stopped, I spoke to her, in a friendly tone.
"What's up with your friends?"
"What?"
"What's up with your friends? They're not dancing with any guys."
"Oh, we're just enjoying the night."
"Haven't I seen you at Transit, the other nightclub?"
I hadn't, but at least I was making conversation. It didn't go much further, so I moved on.
Now, one of the guys from the group I had come in with had decided to get in the game. We collaborated, and I told him I'd back him up. Once again, I had made a new friend at the club, with virtually no effort.
We made a pass along the floor, found a group of girls, and went over to dance with them. As he apparently-not-so-smooth-talked one of them, I took her friend's hand to dance. She played along briefly, but didn't appear to be into it. We moved on.
He found a girl to chat with at the bar, and I eventually spoke to one of her friends. I asked if she was dancing, and she said no. I told her if she's shy, I would help her. She said, "Oh, trust me, I'm not shy." I sarcastically said "suuuuure" and moved on, leaving my nameless friend to strike out alone.
No one had been very responsive, but I was more uninhibited than ever. I had free reign to do whatever I wanted.
Back upstairs on the Latin music floor, I continued to test my luck. One girl accepted my hand to dance, but we bumped knees and heads. I said, "I'm more of a hip-hop dancer, so if I bump you, my bad." She didn't seem very interested from the start, so, as usual, I moved on.
When a a guy came and two of his female friends chained together with him to form a little dance train, I immediately ran up and put my hands on the last girl's waist to join the train. After we stopped, she took my hands to attempt some Latin dance with me. I attempted to twist her around and even dip her at the end of the song, but of course, I was terrible. I joked with her that we should go on Dancing with the Stars. My random appearance must have been pretty entertaining, because one of her friends took pictures of us.
As I headed back downstairs, I found two more girls dancing together. They were fairly stiff. I danced up to them, and I noticed a very slight physical withdrawal from both of them. These people were downright defensive, but why?
As you can see, they weren't even all that attractive. By now, I was feeling just plain silly, so I decided to mess with them. I said that I was trying to learn some moves from them, because they "dance so well." In reality, they were super stiff. They weren't amused by my comment, so I decided to continue my schtick. I imitated the one on the right, following her every motion. When she scratched her arm, I scratched mine. Finally, the stiff in the blue said "We're good," so I left them alone and went downstairs to find someone else to play with.
I was surprised by how uptight or unresponsive most of the women were. At one point, I was only dancing near a girl, and she shook her head negatively and moved away. I couldn't have cared less about her. What a self-centered wench.
About every other time I've gone out to a club, I've had a bad night. This was that night, but I realized that now, even the bad nights were good.
I was having fun. I danced, shouted, and spoke to all manner of people. I gave a fist-bump to the Garnier Fructis girl when I saw her again. I found a hotty to bump-and-grind with, although I scared her off by accidentally (I think) letting my hand slip to the wrong region of her body too soon. I even approached the most beautiful wallflower in the building, and attempted a conversation. I thought about being smooth, but then decided it was more fun to be silly. I intentionally attempted a rather corny pickup.
"You're not dancing?"
"No..."
"How are you gonna come to a dance club and not dance!"
"...."
"Oh, I see. You're dressed too nicely to dance. Were you coming to a dance club, or to a beauty pageant!"
(laughing) "A beauty pageant."
"Where'd you buy your outfit?"
"It came separately."
"How'd you put it together? I know you didn't buy it at Wal-Mart?"
(laughing) no
"Are you drinking?"
"...no, not right now."
"You should go downstairs and chill out. It's nice - they have seats and stuff. Have you been?"
"No. Downstairs?"
"Yeah. Wanna go?"
"....not right now."
I knew early on (obviously) that she wasn't being responsive, but I was just playing around. Talking to her was as easy as lifting a feather, but it was actually one of my first pickup attempts - if you want to call it that.
____________
The next day, I finally figured out why people seemed so less friendly than they had the other weeks. This time, I had interacted with more people than I could even hope to remember. The difference was that before, I had been much more passive. By initiating countless interactions, I uncovered all of the boring people who were there all along.
Finally, I realized something beautiful. Even the average person is too restrained by inhibition to approach as many people as I did that night. By being rejected over and over and over, and over and over again, I was facing the normal person's fear. The worst was happening, and guess what? It wasn't bad at all.
I have now exceeded the ordinary.
____________
This time, I was even more relaxed from the start. I took my place in line behind a group of three guys, and one of them acknowledged me. I said, instinctively, "Hey, what's up man?" For a while, I didn't say much of anything, but stood by as if I were a part of the group, listening to the conversation and smiling at things that were humorous. When one of the guys was telling a story, he included me as he shifted his eye contact between audience members. Before long, one of the guys asked me how I knew the other two guys. I had assumed rapport so effectively that he thought I was a friend in his group.
Once inside, I took my time to walk around and explore. The dance floor was relatively sparse that early, so I decided to wait until other couples started dancing before I began my search for a willing partner.
I spotted one of the guys I talked to my first time at SuperBar. I had never gotten his name, but I remembered that he worked there, and his goal in life was to marry the beautiful blonde bartender he had recently met. I walked over, said, "Hey, what's up man?", and shook his hand. I asked him if he had proposed to the girl yet, and we joked around for a couple of minutes over the loud music. I found out his name - Bart - and told him mine. Then I said that I was going to make a pass down the dance floor, and moved on.
Upstairs, I found the group I had come in with. I couldn't hear the conversation over the loud music, so I waited until there was a lull and asked one of the guys if he was going to find some girls. He said he was "just chilling," so I put on my sunglasses, headed back downstairs, and got to work.
____________
This time, I was already warm.
I danced without inhibition, and found people to talk to. When I spotted a beautiful blonde-haired girl I had noticed outside, I went over and spoke to one of her less-attractive friends.
"What's going on?"
She turned towards me for a moment, then turned away.
Nice.
Unphased, I moved on. I saw a couple of girls I had spoken to briefly in line, and spoke to one of them. She said something that sounded like, "It's the guy from the box," but I couldn't really make out the words over the music. I said, "I can't hear what you're saying, but YEAH!!!"
She laughed, and talked with her friend. By now it was pretty crowded, so I was close behind her friend as I danced nearby. I noticed (observation) that her hair smelled good, and asked (following my impulse), "Garnier Fructise?" They asked what I was talking about, and I repeated.
"Garnier Fructise. I was asking if you use Garnier Fructise because your hair smells good."
One of them laughed, and asked how I even knew about that. I ran my hands across my close haircut and joked, "I gotta take care of this!"
I moved on, and found other people to play with.
Or at least, I tried.
Earlier, I had noticed a group of 3 Asian girls dancing together. The tallest one had occasionally danced with a guy who came over, while the other two seemed uptight. I remembered from last week not to judge by appearance, so I experimented by offering my hand to dance with one of the short ones.
Nothing doing. She was as uptight as she looked.
I offered my hand to the taller, fun-looking one just the same. She took it, and we danced briefly, but she didn't seem very into it. Once we stopped, I spoke to her, in a friendly tone.
"What's up with your friends?"
"What?"
"What's up with your friends? They're not dancing with any guys."
"Oh, we're just enjoying the night."
"Haven't I seen you at Transit, the other nightclub?"
I hadn't, but at least I was making conversation. It didn't go much further, so I moved on.
Now, one of the guys from the group I had come in with had decided to get in the game. We collaborated, and I told him I'd back him up. Once again, I had made a new friend at the club, with virtually no effort.
We made a pass along the floor, found a group of girls, and went over to dance with them. As he apparently-not-so-smooth-talked one of them, I took her friend's hand to dance. She played along briefly, but didn't appear to be into it. We moved on.
He found a girl to chat with at the bar, and I eventually spoke to one of her friends. I asked if she was dancing, and she said no. I told her if she's shy, I would help her. She said, "Oh, trust me, I'm not shy." I sarcastically said "suuuuure" and moved on, leaving my nameless friend to strike out alone.
No one had been very responsive, but I was more uninhibited than ever. I had free reign to do whatever I wanted.
Back upstairs on the Latin music floor, I continued to test my luck. One girl accepted my hand to dance, but we bumped knees and heads. I said, "I'm more of a hip-hop dancer, so if I bump you, my bad." She didn't seem very interested from the start, so, as usual, I moved on.
When a a guy came and two of his female friends chained together with him to form a little dance train, I immediately ran up and put my hands on the last girl's waist to join the train. After we stopped, she took my hands to attempt some Latin dance with me. I attempted to twist her around and even dip her at the end of the song, but of course, I was terrible. I joked with her that we should go on Dancing with the Stars. My random appearance must have been pretty entertaining, because one of her friends took pictures of us.
As I headed back downstairs, I found two more girls dancing together. They were fairly stiff. I danced up to them, and I noticed a very slight physical withdrawal from both of them. These people were downright defensive, but why?
As you can see, they weren't even all that attractive. By now, I was feeling just plain silly, so I decided to mess with them. I said that I was trying to learn some moves from them, because they "dance so well." In reality, they were super stiff. They weren't amused by my comment, so I decided to continue my schtick. I imitated the one on the right, following her every motion. When she scratched her arm, I scratched mine. Finally, the stiff in the blue said "We're good," so I left them alone and went downstairs to find someone else to play with.
I was surprised by how uptight or unresponsive most of the women were. At one point, I was only dancing near a girl, and she shook her head negatively and moved away. I couldn't have cared less about her. What a self-centered wench.
About every other time I've gone out to a club, I've had a bad night. This was that night, but I realized that now, even the bad nights were good.
I was having fun. I danced, shouted, and spoke to all manner of people. I gave a fist-bump to the Garnier Fructis girl when I saw her again. I found a hotty to bump-and-grind with, although I scared her off by accidentally (I think) letting my hand slip to the wrong region of her body too soon. I even approached the most beautiful wallflower in the building, and attempted a conversation. I thought about being smooth, but then decided it was more fun to be silly. I intentionally attempted a rather corny pickup.
"You're not dancing?"
"No..."
"How are you gonna come to a dance club and not dance!"
"...."
"Oh, I see. You're dressed too nicely to dance. Were you coming to a dance club, or to a beauty pageant!"
(laughing) "A beauty pageant."
"Where'd you buy your outfit?"
"It came separately."
"How'd you put it together? I know you didn't buy it at Wal-Mart?"
(laughing) no
"Are you drinking?"
"...no, not right now."
"You should go downstairs and chill out. It's nice - they have seats and stuff. Have you been?"
"No. Downstairs?"
"Yeah. Wanna go?"
"....not right now."
I knew early on (obviously) that she wasn't being responsive, but I was just playing around. Talking to her was as easy as lifting a feather, but it was actually one of my first pickup attempts - if you want to call it that.
____________
The next day, I finally figured out why people seemed so less friendly than they had the other weeks. This time, I had interacted with more people than I could even hope to remember. The difference was that before, I had been much more passive. By initiating countless interactions, I uncovered all of the boring people who were there all along.
Finally, I realized something beautiful. Even the average person is too restrained by inhibition to approach as many people as I did that night. By being rejected over and over and over, and over and over again, I was facing the normal person's fear. The worst was happening, and guess what? It wasn't bad at all.
I have now exceeded the ordinary.
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