Organizing Our Efforts

Alright. So if this isn't already obvious, I am EXTREMELY determined to get this stuff down, once and for all. There aren't many people who have as far to go as I do (and even for those who do, that's fine), so I really believe that this blog can be the solution for every single one of us...with some work, of course! It's not going to be easy.

The plan is to put forth an across-the-board effort. Now, essentially all we have to do is gain a lot more social experience and become a lot more comfortable. We will progress to the comfort level of the average person, and eventually, if you'd like, to that of the bigtime "people persons." We need to submerge ourselves in social situations to the maximum extent possible. These are my planned efforts so far:

1. Make friends online. Just starting out, it's a lot easier to meet people this way: Everyone in our situation is more comfortable talking online. Period. Also, we can find people who we know are interested in making new friends, which is a big difference from choosing random people in public. Where exactly, now?

1a. Craig's list (http://www.craigslist.com) strictly platonic sections.
1b. MEETin (http://www.meetin.org).

Also, keep in mind that at some point we have to actually MEET, in person, the friends that we make online. Which brings me to another important point. It should help to chat a while with people on the Internet before meeting in person, but starting out, we shouldn't expect our first meetings to be very comfortable. That's fine. It could go as poorly as possible, and it would still be worthwhile. It's only going to get better with more practice -- so plan on going for volume, as many people as you can possibly meet.

2. Make dates online. This probably seems like a big jump for folks starting out where we are. And it is. But that is partly what is going to separate our efforts from those you might find in books on this subject. This is actually going to work, and is going to require some courage to do this. Like above, the idea is to just do it, as often as possible. No matter how horrible it is at first, it's only going to get better. For guys, check this link on how to write an effective personals dating ad: http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_60/88_dating_tips.html. I'm currently using:

2a. http://personals.yahoo.com
2b. http://www.date.com

3. Spend more time with existing friends. If applicable.

3a. Ask current close friends to introduce you to more of their friends. Or be more subtle. The point is to hang out with your good friends and their friends together. It should be more comfortable being with someone you are already close to. This will allow us to branch out as much as possible.

3b. Get closer to your less-close friends, and acquaintances. Get their contact info the next time you chat with them. Contact them later, and ask them if they'd like to see a movie, get a bite to eat, or whatever you come up with. Do this with everyone you possibly can. Some will probably go well, others probably not as well. Again, we are going for volume here, in addition to the obvious. For friends that do eventually become close, repeat 3a with them.

4. Talk to people everywhere you possibly can. Start out with just a "hi" if necessary. Progress to smalltalk. This one is more easily said than done. Along with the others, you should feel better about this after you see the specific experiences that I will document in later posts.