When I got ready to call Rayna, I felt a little anxious. Perhaps that was understandable, since it would be the first time I'd ever called a girl after asking for her number in person. What would it be like? Would she answer? Would she remember me by name alone? As my anxiety grew, I thought momentarily about not calling at all.
Finally, I ignored the anxiety and dialed the number. As usual when calling someone, there was no answer, and I left no message. I figured I would try calling again in a couple days.
To my surprise, she called back a few minutes later. I told her it was J - without explaining where we'd met - and she obviously knew who I was. I considered remembering me by name alone to be a necessary sign of interest, and it was a relief to receive it from Rayna.
I asked what she was up to, and it turned out she was about to head out to another club. I half-jokingly told her I was impressed that she was going out to party on a Thursday night, and followed up by asking if she had to work the next day. I was finding it easy to move from one topic to another, and learned that she worked at a non-profit organization in the city.
More interesting was the fact that she'd been to a dance class earlier that night. I told her that I'd just gotten home from a dance class, too, and suddenly, we had something interesting in common to talk about. It was such a great coincidence that I couldn't believe I thought even for a moment about not calling. After five or six minutes, I said I'd let her head out to the club with her friend, and asked if she wanted to get together for coffee next week. She said she'd have to check her schedule, and to give her a call.
A few days later, I sent a text asking if she would be free Wednesday night. She responded that she wasn't sure, and that it depended on how much work she'd get done Monday and Tuesday. I knew from experience not to be a chump and accept any tentative dates, so I texted back that maybe we'd get together sometime when her schedule was more certain.
For almost two weeks, I didn't hear a word from Rayna. I'd decided that the ball was in her court, and that I wouldn't fall into the trap of chasing her as I did with a few girls in the early days of the mission.
As I drove one Saturday afternoon, for some reason I started thinking about Rayna. I realized that I'd practically forgotten about her entirely for a few days. I figured that it would be a waste to just delete her number, so I reasoned that I should try to be friends with her if she weren't interested. I then started planning the text message that I would send as soon as I reached my destination. I would say, "Hey Rayna, I met someone, but lets hang out as friends sometime. I'm going to dance at Diamond tonight, let me know if you want on the guest list."
I planned every word, and was less than two minutes away from my destination. As I prepared to make the final turn before the parking lot where I'd send the text message, my phone rang.
Amazingly, it was Rayna. I hadn't heard from her in almost two weeks, and now she was calling at the exact moment I was thinking about her. She was calling three minutes before I would have put her thoroughly in the proverbial friends zone.
I refrained from telling her the amazing fact that I was literally in the process of thinking about her, for the first time in days, when she called. She said that she'd been in Miami for work, which gave me plenty to talk about since I'd recently been there for vacation. I joked easily, feeling extra confident in light of the rare situation in which a woman had called me.
I talked to her once again a week later, noticing that our conversations had become progressively easier, with more and more to say each time. I decided that she was so easy to talk to that there was no need for the usual hour at Starbucks. I asked if she wanted to get some food Wednesday night, and she accepted the dinner date.
_______________
Finally, it was happening. I had seen a woman I was interested in, talked to her, gotten her phone number, called her, asked her out, and was about to share a meal with her. At last, I had proven that I didn't need Internet services to get dates.
As I waited for Rayna in the restaurant,I knew that I was about to put an important theory to the test. I had always thought that I would have much more success dating women I'd met in person, since they wouldn't be curiously talking to and dating other purported "matches" for whom they'd paid. Not only that, but basic attraction and interest had already been established, in contrast to the you-never-know blind date.
Besides the fact that I'd met Rayna the traditional way, I had already decided that this would be the start of something new with my dating. I'd realized that with all of the dates that didn't work out, I would have done things differently had I known I'd never see the girl again. Why wouldn't I take the risk, for example, of getting physical if I would never see the person again anyway? It may not have changed things with Autumn, but I certainly could have experienced an open-mouth kiss with her, had I not been too conservative. (I'm almost 26, still looking for these firsts!) So many relationships had failed to work out that now I would treat every date as if I knew it would be my last. With this nothing-to-lose mindset, I planned to have more fun than ever.
Finally, she arrived. She gave me a hug, and said it was good to see me again.
So that was how a non-blind first date started. Not so different after all.
She said she hoped I hadn't been waiting too long. Instead of being overly nice, I said with just the faintest bit of sarcasm, "Just since 8," the time we were supposed to meet. When we spoke on the phone for the first time, I had noticed something about the tone of the conversation. It was as if she were more confident, and thought she was more knowledgeable than I. Perhaps neither of those things was entirely false, since I was the one pursuing her, and since she's 4 year my senior. Now, though, I began to feel more dominant.
After a few obvious questions, I asked Rayna a question I'd thought of in advance. She was a vegan, so I wondered whether she'd be able to find anything on the menu at a regular restaurant. The simple question gave us lots to talk about, including everything from relating my experiences as a semi-vegetarian, to my vegetarian sister, to her family's culture of eating meat, and so on. This all inevitably looks boring in text, but Rayna and I were having a great time while talking about this one topic alone. I made vegan jokes throughout the night ("At least no one had to die for that broccoli!"), and the situation was naturally humorous as she hopelessly questioned the waiter, who told her one item after another was made with some type of animal product.
It had been a solid two months since I'd been on a date, but I was as great as ever. We talked at length about dancing and other things we had in common, and I took an interest in her stories about travel to Europe and other things I haven't experienced. I effortlessly kept her smiling and laughing throughout dinner by doing nothing more than being myself. It was the self that had developed outstanding conversation skills over the course of 54 dates and a life-changing mission.
As Rayna happily continued talking after we'd both finished eating, I noticed the beautiful smile I had seen we we met outside the nightclub. I knew that I, like our evening together, had been absolutely flawless, and I knew I wanted to kiss her.
She seemed content to talk all night, so I finally asked if she was ready to head out. It must have been near closing time, because the parking lot had all but cleared. I kept talking, but was now paying little attention as all I could think about was my new philosophy and her exquisite lips.
After opening the door for Rayna, I put on some chapstick as we talked. I had never kissed on a first date, and had always thought I should do so at my date's doorstep. In the past I wouldn't have even considered it, but for all I knew, this could be the last minute Rayna and I would ever be together. I had decided to live without anything to regret should that turn out to be the case.
We reached her car.
She thanked me for dinner and gave me a hug. Somehow, it was different from others past. I wasn't merely going through the motions of hugging her with my mind elsewhere, but rather was in the moment, and looked down at her while I held her, gently brushing my lips against her head.
When the embrace ended, I moved a little closer and gave her a short, sweet kiss on the lips. She started giggling, mumbling something like " I don't even know you...." I stood and smiled as it took me a moment to process what she meant. She then said smiling, "A hug is cool..."
She apparently didn't want me to think that she was somehow easy. I knew the fact of the matter was that she could have avoided the kiss, but that there was absolutely no way she could resist me. I continued smiling, and told her to have a good night. With the smile still on her face, she exclaimed, "Talk to you soon!!"
As I drove home, I let out a chest-thumping roar. I had now seen a woman I was interested in, talked to her, gotten her phone number, called her, asked her out, kept her laughing for nearly two hours during dinner, effortlessly made myself completely irresistible, and kissed her in a public place at the end of only our first date. I had made good on my personal assertion that my opponent, who danced with Rayna the night I met her, had absolutely no chance as long as I was interested.
Early the next morning, I received a text at work.
Thank you for dinner last night. I had a great time - talk to you soon.
The end draws nearer.
Finally, I ignored the anxiety and dialed the number. As usual when calling someone, there was no answer, and I left no message. I figured I would try calling again in a couple days.
To my surprise, she called back a few minutes later. I told her it was J - without explaining where we'd met - and she obviously knew who I was. I considered remembering me by name alone to be a necessary sign of interest, and it was a relief to receive it from Rayna.
I asked what she was up to, and it turned out she was about to head out to another club. I half-jokingly told her I was impressed that she was going out to party on a Thursday night, and followed up by asking if she had to work the next day. I was finding it easy to move from one topic to another, and learned that she worked at a non-profit organization in the city.
More interesting was the fact that she'd been to a dance class earlier that night. I told her that I'd just gotten home from a dance class, too, and suddenly, we had something interesting in common to talk about. It was such a great coincidence that I couldn't believe I thought even for a moment about not calling. After five or six minutes, I said I'd let her head out to the club with her friend, and asked if she wanted to get together for coffee next week. She said she'd have to check her schedule, and to give her a call.
A few days later, I sent a text asking if she would be free Wednesday night. She responded that she wasn't sure, and that it depended on how much work she'd get done Monday and Tuesday. I knew from experience not to be a chump and accept any tentative dates, so I texted back that maybe we'd get together sometime when her schedule was more certain.
For almost two weeks, I didn't hear a word from Rayna. I'd decided that the ball was in her court, and that I wouldn't fall into the trap of chasing her as I did with a few girls in the early days of the mission.
As I drove one Saturday afternoon, for some reason I started thinking about Rayna. I realized that I'd practically forgotten about her entirely for a few days. I figured that it would be a waste to just delete her number, so I reasoned that I should try to be friends with her if she weren't interested. I then started planning the text message that I would send as soon as I reached my destination. I would say, "Hey Rayna, I met someone, but lets hang out as friends sometime. I'm going to dance at Diamond tonight, let me know if you want on the guest list."
I planned every word, and was less than two minutes away from my destination. As I prepared to make the final turn before the parking lot where I'd send the text message, my phone rang.
Amazingly, it was Rayna. I hadn't heard from her in almost two weeks, and now she was calling at the exact moment I was thinking about her. She was calling three minutes before I would have put her thoroughly in the proverbial friends zone.
I refrained from telling her the amazing fact that I was literally in the process of thinking about her, for the first time in days, when she called. She said that she'd been in Miami for work, which gave me plenty to talk about since I'd recently been there for vacation. I joked easily, feeling extra confident in light of the rare situation in which a woman had called me.
I talked to her once again a week later, noticing that our conversations had become progressively easier, with more and more to say each time. I decided that she was so easy to talk to that there was no need for the usual hour at Starbucks. I asked if she wanted to get some food Wednesday night, and she accepted the dinner date.
_______________
Finally, it was happening. I had seen a woman I was interested in, talked to her, gotten her phone number, called her, asked her out, and was about to share a meal with her. At last, I had proven that I didn't need Internet services to get dates.
As I waited for Rayna in the restaurant,I knew that I was about to put an important theory to the test. I had always thought that I would have much more success dating women I'd met in person, since they wouldn't be curiously talking to and dating other purported "matches" for whom they'd paid. Not only that, but basic attraction and interest had already been established, in contrast to the you-never-know blind date.
Besides the fact that I'd met Rayna the traditional way, I had already decided that this would be the start of something new with my dating. I'd realized that with all of the dates that didn't work out, I would have done things differently had I known I'd never see the girl again. Why wouldn't I take the risk, for example, of getting physical if I would never see the person again anyway? It may not have changed things with Autumn, but I certainly could have experienced an open-mouth kiss with her, had I not been too conservative. (I'm almost 26, still looking for these firsts!) So many relationships had failed to work out that now I would treat every date as if I knew it would be my last. With this nothing-to-lose mindset, I planned to have more fun than ever.
Finally, she arrived. She gave me a hug, and said it was good to see me again.
So that was how a non-blind first date started. Not so different after all.
She said she hoped I hadn't been waiting too long. Instead of being overly nice, I said with just the faintest bit of sarcasm, "Just since 8," the time we were supposed to meet. When we spoke on the phone for the first time, I had noticed something about the tone of the conversation. It was as if she were more confident, and thought she was more knowledgeable than I. Perhaps neither of those things was entirely false, since I was the one pursuing her, and since she's 4 year my senior. Now, though, I began to feel more dominant.
After a few obvious questions, I asked Rayna a question I'd thought of in advance. She was a vegan, so I wondered whether she'd be able to find anything on the menu at a regular restaurant. The simple question gave us lots to talk about, including everything from relating my experiences as a semi-vegetarian, to my vegetarian sister, to her family's culture of eating meat, and so on. This all inevitably looks boring in text, but Rayna and I were having a great time while talking about this one topic alone. I made vegan jokes throughout the night ("At least no one had to die for that broccoli!"), and the situation was naturally humorous as she hopelessly questioned the waiter, who told her one item after another was made with some type of animal product.
It had been a solid two months since I'd been on a date, but I was as great as ever. We talked at length about dancing and other things we had in common, and I took an interest in her stories about travel to Europe and other things I haven't experienced. I effortlessly kept her smiling and laughing throughout dinner by doing nothing more than being myself. It was the self that had developed outstanding conversation skills over the course of 54 dates and a life-changing mission.
As Rayna happily continued talking after we'd both finished eating, I noticed the beautiful smile I had seen we we met outside the nightclub. I knew that I, like our evening together, had been absolutely flawless, and I knew I wanted to kiss her.
She seemed content to talk all night, so I finally asked if she was ready to head out. It must have been near closing time, because the parking lot had all but cleared. I kept talking, but was now paying little attention as all I could think about was my new philosophy and her exquisite lips.
After opening the door for Rayna, I put on some chapstick as we talked. I had never kissed on a first date, and had always thought I should do so at my date's doorstep. In the past I wouldn't have even considered it, but for all I knew, this could be the last minute Rayna and I would ever be together. I had decided to live without anything to regret should that turn out to be the case.
We reached her car.
She thanked me for dinner and gave me a hug. Somehow, it was different from others past. I wasn't merely going through the motions of hugging her with my mind elsewhere, but rather was in the moment, and looked down at her while I held her, gently brushing my lips against her head.
When the embrace ended, I moved a little closer and gave her a short, sweet kiss on the lips. She started giggling, mumbling something like " I don't even know you...." I stood and smiled as it took me a moment to process what she meant. She then said smiling, "A hug is cool..."
She apparently didn't want me to think that she was somehow easy. I knew the fact of the matter was that she could have avoided the kiss, but that there was absolutely no way she could resist me. I continued smiling, and told her to have a good night. With the smile still on her face, she exclaimed, "Talk to you soon!!"
As I drove home, I let out a chest-thumping roar. I had now seen a woman I was interested in, talked to her, gotten her phone number, called her, asked her out, kept her laughing for nearly two hours during dinner, effortlessly made myself completely irresistible, and kissed her in a public place at the end of only our first date. I had made good on my personal assertion that my opponent, who danced with Rayna the night I met her, had absolutely no chance as long as I was interested.
Early the next morning, I received a text at work.
Thank you for dinner last night. I had a great time - talk to you soon.
The end draws nearer.
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