After our first date, Rayna sent me the typical follow-up text message the next morning, saying she'd had a great time, and that she'd talk to me soon. Unlike almost all of the others, though, she wasn't leaving the pursuit up to me. After work that night, she actually picked up the phone and made the call herself.
Once again, talking to her was effortless. I'd had nothing planned, but kept the conversation moving along by asking questions and making jokes about things she told me. There was no mention of having had a good time on our date, and there were no obvious getting-to-know you questions. Instead, it was as if I were talking to someone with whom I already had an established relationship. As usual, I ended the conversation - this time after half an hour - because Rayna seemed content to chat all night.
The next morning, I had surgery to extract all four of my wisdom teeth. It was an interesting experience from the perspective of the mission, because I had started out being an uninhibited jokester from the first day I'd met the staff at the doctor's office. One of the critical issues in overcoming shyness and inhibition is the fact that it's very difficult to change that persona with people who are already accustomed to it, but ultimately very easy to be uninhibited as long as you're that way with people from the start. As this may be my final hurdle, the phenomenon will be addressed fully before this blog comes to an end.
Afterwards, Rayna sent me a text, asking how I did. I told her it was insanely fun, because I'd had laughing gas, and had never tried alcohol or anything like that. She texted back a compliment, saying I had a great attitude and she liked that.
A couple days later, she called again. I noticed that she led the conversation around to finding out whether or not I had any kids (ha!!), which was understandable since she hadn't had the luxury of reading my online profile. She then started talking casually about having kids, asking if I thought I'd have a girl (ha...) and that her mother always says she will. Yep - she liked me. I ended the conversation a few minutes later, saying I'd probably try to catch up with her the next week after I'd healed. She told me her schedule, and a couple of phone calls later, date #56 was arranged.
__________________
After making a return to the dance floors after a rare missed weekend following my surgery, I was exhausted the morning I was to meet up again with Rayna. As great as things had been going with her, this led me to feel anxious in the hours and minutes leading up to our second date.
Finally, she walked through the door of the bowling alley. I spoke to her, made a joke, and my anxiety evaporated. Ironically, she was a source of confidence, with me being more comfortable with her than without.
It was a piece of cake. 2-player bowling didn't leave much time for conversation, so I mostly joked about how bad we both were, teasing Rayna about her awful form. Of course, my ease with Rayna was fueled by a few well-documented principles, like being open and sharing whatever thoughts came to mind. After practicing on so many dates and other social activities, these have become completely natural.
I was certain that my date was having a good time. Not only did she smile and laugh throughout the games, but I also picked up a clear vibe from her. Once when I turned around after my bowl, I saw that she was putting on some chapstick, not really paying attention to the alley. I had the distinctive feeling that she was less interested in the actual game than in how well things were going with her date, hoping that would continue. I could feel this instinctively, especially after experiencing it myself so many times.
After losing both games, I suggested that we head over to a restaurant to eat dinner. She happily agreed, and we went to a hibachi grill in the shopping center. Now, there would be little more than just conversation, but I was confident talking to her and actually looked forward to it.
I'd thought of a few topics earlier, but after so many phone conversations, I was sure doing so wasn't necessary. We talked about whatever came up, and again, it was all so easy. Early on, I noticed Rayna used a local slang term I hadn't heard anyone but me say since high school. I let it go at first, but later was sure to tell her what I was thinking. Old slang terms was a fun topic I'd thought of a long time ago, but Rayna didn't want to say much about it. She was obviously avoiding it because she didn't want me to think that she was somehow less intelligent or anything like that for using slang, but of course, that was merely her own inhibition kicking in. I realized that having a good image in front of me was important to her.
I was completely on my game. I made good jokes, and whenever something came to mind, I simply said it. For example, when I asked Rayna what musicians she likes, we had no favorites in common. In the old days I would have just listened and nodded, trying to avoid drawing attention to our differences. Now, though, I interjected, "OK! I'm just waiting for you to name someone I've heard of...." I even found myself doing some rare talking about myself and, for perhaps the first time, about my feelings, as I told Rayna that my director at work had just left, and that he'd been one of my favorite people in the whole world.
We kept talking after the plates were cleared, until the restaurant had closed and started turning the lights off. We both laughed and agreed it was our cue to leave.
While we were talking, I had looked at Rayna and marveled to myself at how attractive I found her. I was dying to kiss her again. Now, as I pushed the door open for her and we walked outside, my mind shifted again towards those thoughts as I put the conversation on auto-pilot.
I'd always tried to put on chapstick when my dates weren't looking, so as not to seem presumptous or anything like that. With no such opportunity this time, I had to use it in front of her. It was a somewhat clumsy prelude to a beautiful romantic act, but there was no way around the fact that chapstick makes kisses better. After I casually applied some of the stuff, Rayna did the same a few moments later as we talked on our way back to the cars.
We'd met at the bowling alley instead of driving together, so our goodbye would again have to take place in public. A couple in a car in front of Rayna's was standing outside, so I talked a bit more about something my boss had told me. Luckily, the couple had driven away by the time I finished.
I said I'd better let her get out of the cold.
She hugged me. I kept her in my arms afterwards, and immediately kissed her.
This time, it felt as if my kiss were fueled by raw emotion. I really liked Rayna. As her moist, soft lips pressed against mine, my energy shifted towards extending the kiss instead of pulling back. After 2 or 3 seconds - it seemed like longer - I felt her smile, and our lips separated. She moved closer, pressing her body gently against mine. She said, "I'm really not used to this, I swear," and rubbed my back in another embrace. I didn't have time to fully process what her comment meant, so I merely said alright, told her to have a good night, and drove away.
Once again, talking to her was effortless. I'd had nothing planned, but kept the conversation moving along by asking questions and making jokes about things she told me. There was no mention of having had a good time on our date, and there were no obvious getting-to-know you questions. Instead, it was as if I were talking to someone with whom I already had an established relationship. As usual, I ended the conversation - this time after half an hour - because Rayna seemed content to chat all night.
The next morning, I had surgery to extract all four of my wisdom teeth. It was an interesting experience from the perspective of the mission, because I had started out being an uninhibited jokester from the first day I'd met the staff at the doctor's office. One of the critical issues in overcoming shyness and inhibition is the fact that it's very difficult to change that persona with people who are already accustomed to it, but ultimately very easy to be uninhibited as long as you're that way with people from the start. As this may be my final hurdle, the phenomenon will be addressed fully before this blog comes to an end.
Afterwards, Rayna sent me a text, asking how I did. I told her it was insanely fun, because I'd had laughing gas, and had never tried alcohol or anything like that. She texted back a compliment, saying I had a great attitude and she liked that.
A couple days later, she called again. I noticed that she led the conversation around to finding out whether or not I had any kids (ha!!), which was understandable since she hadn't had the luxury of reading my online profile. She then started talking casually about having kids, asking if I thought I'd have a girl (ha...) and that her mother always says she will. Yep - she liked me. I ended the conversation a few minutes later, saying I'd probably try to catch up with her the next week after I'd healed. She told me her schedule, and a couple of phone calls later, date #56 was arranged.
__________________
After making a return to the dance floors after a rare missed weekend following my surgery, I was exhausted the morning I was to meet up again with Rayna. As great as things had been going with her, this led me to feel anxious in the hours and minutes leading up to our second date.
Finally, she walked through the door of the bowling alley. I spoke to her, made a joke, and my anxiety evaporated. Ironically, she was a source of confidence, with me being more comfortable with her than without.
It was a piece of cake. 2-player bowling didn't leave much time for conversation, so I mostly joked about how bad we both were, teasing Rayna about her awful form. Of course, my ease with Rayna was fueled by a few well-documented principles, like being open and sharing whatever thoughts came to mind. After practicing on so many dates and other social activities, these have become completely natural.
I was certain that my date was having a good time. Not only did she smile and laugh throughout the games, but I also picked up a clear vibe from her. Once when I turned around after my bowl, I saw that she was putting on some chapstick, not really paying attention to the alley. I had the distinctive feeling that she was less interested in the actual game than in how well things were going with her date, hoping that would continue. I could feel this instinctively, especially after experiencing it myself so many times.
After losing both games, I suggested that we head over to a restaurant to eat dinner. She happily agreed, and we went to a hibachi grill in the shopping center. Now, there would be little more than just conversation, but I was confident talking to her and actually looked forward to it.
I'd thought of a few topics earlier, but after so many phone conversations, I was sure doing so wasn't necessary. We talked about whatever came up, and again, it was all so easy. Early on, I noticed Rayna used a local slang term I hadn't heard anyone but me say since high school. I let it go at first, but later was sure to tell her what I was thinking. Old slang terms was a fun topic I'd thought of a long time ago, but Rayna didn't want to say much about it. She was obviously avoiding it because she didn't want me to think that she was somehow less intelligent or anything like that for using slang, but of course, that was merely her own inhibition kicking in. I realized that having a good image in front of me was important to her.
I was completely on my game. I made good jokes, and whenever something came to mind, I simply said it. For example, when I asked Rayna what musicians she likes, we had no favorites in common. In the old days I would have just listened and nodded, trying to avoid drawing attention to our differences. Now, though, I interjected, "OK! I'm just waiting for you to name someone I've heard of...." I even found myself doing some rare talking about myself and, for perhaps the first time, about my feelings, as I told Rayna that my director at work had just left, and that he'd been one of my favorite people in the whole world.
We kept talking after the plates were cleared, until the restaurant had closed and started turning the lights off. We both laughed and agreed it was our cue to leave.
While we were talking, I had looked at Rayna and marveled to myself at how attractive I found her. I was dying to kiss her again. Now, as I pushed the door open for her and we walked outside, my mind shifted again towards those thoughts as I put the conversation on auto-pilot.
I'd always tried to put on chapstick when my dates weren't looking, so as not to seem presumptous or anything like that. With no such opportunity this time, I had to use it in front of her. It was a somewhat clumsy prelude to a beautiful romantic act, but there was no way around the fact that chapstick makes kisses better. After I casually applied some of the stuff, Rayna did the same a few moments later as we talked on our way back to the cars.
We'd met at the bowling alley instead of driving together, so our goodbye would again have to take place in public. A couple in a car in front of Rayna's was standing outside, so I talked a bit more about something my boss had told me. Luckily, the couple had driven away by the time I finished.
I said I'd better let her get out of the cold.
She hugged me. I kept her in my arms afterwards, and immediately kissed her.
This time, it felt as if my kiss were fueled by raw emotion. I really liked Rayna. As her moist, soft lips pressed against mine, my energy shifted towards extending the kiss instead of pulling back. After 2 or 3 seconds - it seemed like longer - I felt her smile, and our lips separated. She moved closer, pressing her body gently against mine. She said, "I'm really not used to this, I swear," and rubbed my back in another embrace. I didn't have time to fully process what her comment meant, so I merely said alright, told her to have a good night, and drove away.
No comments:
Post a Comment