For Christmas, I got a new touchscreen cell phone with a feature that lets you designate people as "Favorites" so that you can call or text them quickly. Naturally, I thought to add all of my friends as Favorites. It was then that I realized there were only three. I made a few friends along the way during my mission, but only two of those remained.
For mostly different reasons, I had posted an ad on craigslist a few days before. Listed under the "strictly platonic" section, it simply asked whether anyone knew of a studio teaching hip-hop dance in the area, since the location of my first course has switched over to a strictly ballroom. I expected the replies to provide only a word of advice, at best. This may have been the case, except that I asked a couple of questions in response to kickstart a conversation with the two girls who replied.
The first was Rebecca. I simply asked what kind of dance she did. She responded enthusiastically, telling me all about her experience with dance and asking my story. We then talked live through gchat, where I discovered that she's just about the sweetest girl you could imagine. When I added her on Facebook, she asked if I wanted to meet some day, when she gets back from her trip to Israel.
The second reply was from Natalie. She asked me to let her know when I found a place, and I gave her the web sites Rebecca had sent to me. We didn't e-mail much after that until one day when I logged into gchat by accident. She sent me a text.
"hey how are you?"
"hey hey. good =) you?"
"I am ok. although lately I have been slumping back into my introspective moods"
At that point, I thought jokingly to myself.... we've got a crazy one on our hands here! In the following days, I would learn that she'd made the statement because she thought I was her close friend with the same first name. For me, the mistake was a windfall of good fortune.
I wasn't sure what to say, so I asked if she was coming to dance class. She said that she hadn't thought about it, but that it would make her less introspective if so. The idea of introspection reminded me that a couple of my acting classmates had said it was their reason for taking the class, so I mentioned it.
She said she loved acting, and said that we must meet for coffee sometime, since we had such similar interests. Then, she suggested that we exchange pictures. I told her my name to look me up on feycebook.
We had 3 feycebook friends in common.
We'd gone to the same college, which was no small coincidence with a mid-sized school in a large metro area. We had even been in the same graduating class. As we chatted more, we discovered that we had more things still in common, such as a love for writing.
At work the day of the class, I logged into gchat again by accident. Natalie happened to be online from work too, but had decided not to take the dance class until she had a sudden change of heart. She said she'd definitely go if I came to pick her up, and so I did.
____________________
I was off to a bit of a slow start. The only problem was that I couldn't stay present; I hadn't expected to meet my new friend so soon, and I just couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. I was still alright, though, and relaxed by the time we reached class.
There were lots of people around our age in the class, and I realized it would be easier to talk to and meet them now that I was attending with a friend. That will be a story for another post.
On the way back to her home, Natalie and I talked quite easily, and I knew I definitely liked her. She asked what I was doing tomorrow, and suggested that we meet up to practice the new dances we'd just learned.
I had already been planning to go to a new nightclub the next night, so when I got home I decided to invite Natalie. She was happy to go, and it would be the first time I'd see a new friend or date two days in a row.
____________________
This time, I was able to stay present and be myself from the start. The conversation moved along easily as we talked about her home country of Holland, music, work, and whatever else came to mind. In line at the club, it seemed like the universe was now on my side in this misison as there was another remarkable stroke of luck: our place in line was directly behind a guy I had known in college! I had seen him on the airplane to Miami, and remarkably again in South Beach. I noticed the uninhibited, fluent sound of my voice as I exclaimed, "I don't believe it!" and shook his hand before introducing him to Natalie. I told her the story as well as other things about myself that she hadn't asked. It was a major change from the times I've been inhibited, when talking about myself has always been the most difficult of tasks.
I had almost always gone to clubs by myself, so I wasn't sure if I would be able to be as wild and free when I was with someone I knew. Instead of thinking about it, I stayed present, and found that there was no problem. I danced vibrantly, sang loudly, and played with some of the other club patrons. The only difference was that I stayed with Natalie to keep her entertained instead of venturing from one spot to another in search of a dance partner. In fact, I didn't dance with any other girls, until a blonde and a brunette decided to sandwich me for a minute or so.
On the way home, I noticed that Natalie was just as relaxed and open with me as I was with her. Suddenly, I had a distinct feeling that I could ask her to hang out with me anytime, and she would be more than happy to. I started to think of all the things I like to do, but that I usually have no one to do with. Natalie just seemed so accessible, not to mention that we'd be going to dance class together every week. We'd met less than 48 hours ago, but she was already one of the one few true friends I've ever had.
For mostly different reasons, I had posted an ad on craigslist a few days before. Listed under the "strictly platonic" section, it simply asked whether anyone knew of a studio teaching hip-hop dance in the area, since the location of my first course has switched over to a strictly ballroom. I expected the replies to provide only a word of advice, at best. This may have been the case, except that I asked a couple of questions in response to kickstart a conversation with the two girls who replied.
The first was Rebecca. I simply asked what kind of dance she did. She responded enthusiastically, telling me all about her experience with dance and asking my story. We then talked live through gchat, where I discovered that she's just about the sweetest girl you could imagine. When I added her on Facebook, she asked if I wanted to meet some day, when she gets back from her trip to Israel.
The second reply was from Natalie. She asked me to let her know when I found a place, and I gave her the web sites Rebecca had sent to me. We didn't e-mail much after that until one day when I logged into gchat by accident. She sent me a text.
"hey how are you?"
"hey hey. good =) you?"
"I am ok. although lately I have been slumping back into my introspective moods"
At that point, I thought jokingly to myself.... we've got a crazy one on our hands here! In the following days, I would learn that she'd made the statement because she thought I was her close friend with the same first name. For me, the mistake was a windfall of good fortune.
I wasn't sure what to say, so I asked if she was coming to dance class. She said that she hadn't thought about it, but that it would make her less introspective if so. The idea of introspection reminded me that a couple of my acting classmates had said it was their reason for taking the class, so I mentioned it.
She said she loved acting, and said that we must meet for coffee sometime, since we had such similar interests. Then, she suggested that we exchange pictures. I told her my name to look me up on feycebook.
We had 3 feycebook friends in common.
We'd gone to the same college, which was no small coincidence with a mid-sized school in a large metro area. We had even been in the same graduating class. As we chatted more, we discovered that we had more things still in common, such as a love for writing.
At work the day of the class, I logged into gchat again by accident. Natalie happened to be online from work too, but had decided not to take the dance class until she had a sudden change of heart. She said she'd definitely go if I came to pick her up, and so I did.
____________________
I was off to a bit of a slow start. The only problem was that I couldn't stay present; I hadn't expected to meet my new friend so soon, and I just couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. I was still alright, though, and relaxed by the time we reached class.
There were lots of people around our age in the class, and I realized it would be easier to talk to and meet them now that I was attending with a friend. That will be a story for another post.
On the way back to her home, Natalie and I talked quite easily, and I knew I definitely liked her. She asked what I was doing tomorrow, and suggested that we meet up to practice the new dances we'd just learned.
I had already been planning to go to a new nightclub the next night, so when I got home I decided to invite Natalie. She was happy to go, and it would be the first time I'd see a new friend or date two days in a row.
____________________
This time, I was able to stay present and be myself from the start. The conversation moved along easily as we talked about her home country of Holland, music, work, and whatever else came to mind. In line at the club, it seemed like the universe was now on my side in this misison as there was another remarkable stroke of luck: our place in line was directly behind a guy I had known in college! I had seen him on the airplane to Miami, and remarkably again in South Beach. I noticed the uninhibited, fluent sound of my voice as I exclaimed, "I don't believe it!" and shook his hand before introducing him to Natalie. I told her the story as well as other things about myself that she hadn't asked. It was a major change from the times I've been inhibited, when talking about myself has always been the most difficult of tasks.
I had almost always gone to clubs by myself, so I wasn't sure if I would be able to be as wild and free when I was with someone I knew. Instead of thinking about it, I stayed present, and found that there was no problem. I danced vibrantly, sang loudly, and played with some of the other club patrons. The only difference was that I stayed with Natalie to keep her entertained instead of venturing from one spot to another in search of a dance partner. In fact, I didn't dance with any other girls, until a blonde and a brunette decided to sandwich me for a minute or so.
On the way home, I noticed that Natalie was just as relaxed and open with me as I was with her. Suddenly, I had a distinct feeling that I could ask her to hang out with me anytime, and she would be more than happy to. I started to think of all the things I like to do, but that I usually have no one to do with. Natalie just seemed so accessible, not to mention that we'd be going to dance class together every week. We'd met less than 48 hours ago, but she was already one of the one few true friends I've ever had.
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