Well, I don't have any good news to report, but I did say that I would post an update on Sunday - so here it is.
The date I tried to arrange didn't happen (darn e-mail; messages can get caught in internet limbo for days, but unfortunately I hadn't yet gotten a telephone number).
I should clarify my use of meetup.com. The skeet shooting event I went to was linked on meetup.com, but the organization and the site with all the good activities is called Professionals in the City (http://www.prosinthecity.com). They do events in and around 6 American cities.
The meetup was okay. There were 10 other people. I am 24 years old...all but 2 of the others were much older than I am. The other 2 were definitely somewhat older. I practiced the Inhibition-post strategy and initiated a little conversation (common ground: watching a football game) before the shindig started. That worked fine, but I really didn't do much. Then we had earplugs in, so that's my excuse for not putting forth much initiative to connect. I wanted to talk to the 2 younger people a little afterwards, but they were occupied talking to others, so I eventually gave up and left instead of waiting to try to make some conversation. Not great on my part!
Overall, it looks like Professionals in the City could be a good way to make friends though. Especially if you're in your 30's or 40's. Out of the 10 others, there were only 2 couples - the other 6 came alone.
Can you tell there isn't much enthusiasm in this post? I was really, really depressed yesterday about the apparent end of my fling (3 dates) with the girl who I started to like so much. I won't go into it, but it suffices to say my reaction was very bad. A perhaps extreme overreaction I admit, since I pointed out there's never anything to lose with this stuff, etc., etc. But I couldn't help it. I understand logic, but my heart does not.
Today is a little better. I'm still experiencing brief periods of despair, but yesterday was completely out of control. Now I'm just trying to be as productive as I can (rather than screwing up other aspects of my life), despite my low spirits, until time can heal my little wound.
For the sake of completeness, I should give an update on the sixth date I went on. That was my fifth first-date, and it was held between the second- and third- dates with the girl who's now causing me all the despair (Confused yet?). I told you afterwards that it went so well that I had no doubt there would be a second-date, if I wanted it. Well, my friends...I was wrong. Kinda. Here's the e-mail I got today, after pinging her with a "what's up?" on match.com:
Hey [My Name]! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you!! I hope things are going well. I wanted to let you know that I started seeing someone exclusively-but I hope you know that I had a really nice time with you and I really enjoyed your company. I hope match turns out well for you, and thanks for a really nice date-
[Her Name]
The date I tried to arrange didn't happen (darn e-mail; messages can get caught in internet limbo for days, but unfortunately I hadn't yet gotten a telephone number).
I should clarify my use of meetup.com. The skeet shooting event I went to was linked on meetup.com, but the organization and the site with all the good activities is called Professionals in the City (http://www.prosinthecity.com). They do events in and around 6 American cities.
The meetup was okay. There were 10 other people. I am 24 years old...all but 2 of the others were much older than I am. The other 2 were definitely somewhat older. I practiced the Inhibition-post strategy and initiated a little conversation (common ground: watching a football game) before the shindig started. That worked fine, but I really didn't do much. Then we had earplugs in, so that's my excuse for not putting forth much initiative to connect. I wanted to talk to the 2 younger people a little afterwards, but they were occupied talking to others, so I eventually gave up and left instead of waiting to try to make some conversation. Not great on my part!
Overall, it looks like Professionals in the City could be a good way to make friends though. Especially if you're in your 30's or 40's. Out of the 10 others, there were only 2 couples - the other 6 came alone.
Can you tell there isn't much enthusiasm in this post? I was really, really depressed yesterday about the apparent end of my fling (3 dates) with the girl who I started to like so much. I won't go into it, but it suffices to say my reaction was very bad. A perhaps extreme overreaction I admit, since I pointed out there's never anything to lose with this stuff, etc., etc. But I couldn't help it. I understand logic, but my heart does not.
Today is a little better. I'm still experiencing brief periods of despair, but yesterday was completely out of control. Now I'm just trying to be as productive as I can (rather than screwing up other aspects of my life), despite my low spirits, until time can heal my little wound.
For the sake of completeness, I should give an update on the sixth date I went on. That was my fifth first-date, and it was held between the second- and third- dates with the girl who's now causing me all the despair (Confused yet?). I told you afterwards that it went so well that I had no doubt there would be a second-date, if I wanted it. Well, my friends...I was wrong. Kinda. Here's the e-mail I got today, after pinging her with a "what's up?" on match.com:
Hey [My Name]! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you!! I hope things are going well. I wanted to let you know that I started seeing someone exclusively-but I hope you know that I had a really nice time with you and I really enjoyed your company. I hope match turns out well for you, and thanks for a really nice date-
[Her Name]
Sweet girl, huh? I appreciated that. The other girl I met on that site just ignored me completely after our date, so I found this to be quite tactful.
Like I keep saying: I don't mean to turn this into a blog, or a mission about dating! That's just one of the most accessible social resources, so don't worry - I am going to keep trying to figure out how to just make friends, too.
And so, this is proving to be a long, hard road. Harder than I thought - I didn't foresee the heartache of developing such strong feelings for someone after only three dates, and then having it all suddenly evaporate. It took over six weeks to get that far, so now am I a bit fatigued, and will likely have to take a little break from dating.
How long will this hard road be? It's been 81 days since I started the blog. It's going well enough that I hope to declare Mission Accomplished in 284 more days, making it an even year. A single year to make up for an 18-year deficit of social experience? Maybe it's a long shot, but that's all the more reason to try.
1 comment:
"You don’t believe my words now, but you’ll come to it yourself... Suffering is a great thing."
Dostoyevsky
Post a Comment