Well, tonight I have some good news on the Platonic Front of this war against shyness.
(Timeout: War against Shyness? I really like that phrase. It makes me feel motivated to pump it up even further and fight all-out against this thing. I guess it's the male war-monger mentality.)
I'm 24 years old. Yesterday, I attended the very first party of my entire life. This isn't really an exaggeration. I've been to family birthday parties, of course. And I've been to open-to-everyone school parties. But this was absolutely the very first time I ever attended a private party - the type that requires an invitation.
The first friend I made on craigslist invited me to her cousin's game party. I knew it would be well outside of my comfort zone, but I didn't even debate going, because I didn't have a choice. That's right - I don't give myself a choice when it comes to these things. If a social opportunity presents itself, I take it, because I have to.
And so I was feeling pretty anxious in the hours leading up to the party. When I asked what time to come, my friend texted me back saying that I didn't have to come because she had a feeling it would be mostly females. Yep - she was giving me a way out. But I wouldn't consider backing out. I couldn't.
I arrived close to 7:00. I wanted to be there from the beginning, because I figured I'd be more comfortable if I could get to know a few new people before it got crowded (there were about 17 people who RSVP'd online).
There were 5 other people there when I arrived, and they all greeted me very warmly. What a great group of girls! Everyone was very nice, all night. We exchanged greetings, but I didn't have to worry about making conversation for long, because they asked me to play the first game a few minutes later.
I figured I could handle this, since an activity (in this case, board games) greatly eases the strain in coming up with things to say. I wasn't feeling much anxiety now, and figured I'd make a few jokes (which isn't as difficult as it sounds). We were playing a word game, and I came up with a few bogus words. "Sho" being one of them. I told them it was a legit word - you know, like "fo' sho!" You probably had to be there, but it was brought up and got laughs even hours later.
I felt a bit anxious at first when more people started to arrive. I was kind of hoping that not many more people would come, since I had already gotten comfortable. But they kept coming (the final count: about 13 girls and 3 guys, including me), and everyone was extremely nice, so I remained comfortable. I even stood at the front of the room - the center of attention - to give clues for Taboo, and I wasn't really inhibited doing that.
I didn't really do a lot of talking during the party. I still find group situations to be the hardest - it's tough for me to find my way into a conversation with several other people, but I tried and succeeded a few brief times. After people started to leave, I was able to have a good, short 1-on-1 conversation with my friend's cousin. It was just like the 1-on-1 conversation I've done on the many dates I've blogged about. I eventually got involved in talking at some length with 3 girls at a time, not doing anything much different.
(Timeout: War against Shyness? I really like that phrase. It makes me feel motivated to pump it up even further and fight all-out against this thing. I guess it's the male war-monger mentality.)
I'm 24 years old. Yesterday, I attended the very first party of my entire life. This isn't really an exaggeration. I've been to family birthday parties, of course. And I've been to open-to-everyone school parties. But this was absolutely the very first time I ever attended a private party - the type that requires an invitation.
The first friend I made on craigslist invited me to her cousin's game party. I knew it would be well outside of my comfort zone, but I didn't even debate going, because I didn't have a choice. That's right - I don't give myself a choice when it comes to these things. If a social opportunity presents itself, I take it, because I have to.
And so I was feeling pretty anxious in the hours leading up to the party. When I asked what time to come, my friend texted me back saying that I didn't have to come because she had a feeling it would be mostly females. Yep - she was giving me a way out. But I wouldn't consider backing out. I couldn't.
I arrived close to 7:00. I wanted to be there from the beginning, because I figured I'd be more comfortable if I could get to know a few new people before it got crowded (there were about 17 people who RSVP'd online).
There were 5 other people there when I arrived, and they all greeted me very warmly. What a great group of girls! Everyone was very nice, all night. We exchanged greetings, but I didn't have to worry about making conversation for long, because they asked me to play the first game a few minutes later.
I figured I could handle this, since an activity (in this case, board games) greatly eases the strain in coming up with things to say. I wasn't feeling much anxiety now, and figured I'd make a few jokes (which isn't as difficult as it sounds). We were playing a word game, and I came up with a few bogus words. "Sho" being one of them. I told them it was a legit word - you know, like "fo' sho!" You probably had to be there, but it was brought up and got laughs even hours later.
I felt a bit anxious at first when more people started to arrive. I was kind of hoping that not many more people would come, since I had already gotten comfortable. But they kept coming (the final count: about 13 girls and 3 guys, including me), and everyone was extremely nice, so I remained comfortable. I even stood at the front of the room - the center of attention - to give clues for Taboo, and I wasn't really inhibited doing that.
I didn't really do a lot of talking during the party. I still find group situations to be the hardest - it's tough for me to find my way into a conversation with several other people, but I tried and succeeded a few brief times. After people started to leave, I was able to have a good, short 1-on-1 conversation with my friend's cousin. It was just like the 1-on-1 conversation I've done on the many dates I've blogged about. I eventually got involved in talking at some length with 3 girls at a time, not doing anything much different.
I was there from 7PM to 1AM. It was a lot of fun! An amazing amount of progress from where I started. And just think - if I hadn't been so determined to embark on this mission, and even if I hadn't been so determined to work the law of averages, responding to dozens of craigslist ads.....if not for all of that, I never would have met any of these great people. A couple of times I wondered why my friend from craigslist (thankfully, no one ever asked how we met) ever wanted to hang out with me, since she had all these other great people in her life already. It was amazing.
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