Resurrection: The Best Day of The Mission

Things were looking down. I'd been sure that I was on the brink of a major breakthrough, and then BAM! Things had started to go wrong. Through this afternoon, I was thinking that I just needed to make it through the next few weeks, maybe take a hiatus from the mission activities, and regroup. It would take a long time, but I could get back to that brink I was so excited about reaching.

But I decided not to let it come to that just yet. Why should I take a hiatus? I had nothing to lose. Nothing to lose at all, with everything to gain.

First, I texted the girl from craig's list that I talked to on the phone 2 days ago. I asked if she wanted to meet up. She did. It would be interesting, because for whatever reason, I was comfortable (and myself) talking to her. I had also seen what she looked like the night before, since we added each other as friends on facebook. The only thing left to do was see the face and hear the voice at the same time - in person. So I suggested pool, then bowling. When she called to give me her address, she first made me promise to not be a psycho. I was even more comfortable talking to her this time than before, and made some jokes about it (effortlessly). We had only talked on the telephone, and yet I was going to pick her up instead of meeting her somewhere. This was a first, so I figured it would be interesting.

But more on that soon. Before meeting my new friend (!!!), I decided to send that e-mail I mentioned before to the girl I'd seemingly had two successful dates with, but who had disappeared on me.

In the e-mail, I briefly asked how she was doing, and said I thought maybe I should check to make sure everything was alright with her since I mysteriously never heard back from her the last week. I had already decided that the only way I would pursue her again (if she actually responded) would be if the reason for her disappearance was that she was in the hospital, or something crazy like that.

Lo and behold! Within an hour, she actually responded to the e-mail. She said she was sorry she hadn't replied, but she had gotten real sick and had a hospital visit for some shots and IV.

Wow. Well, it didn't make any sense that she would have suddenly lost interest the way it appeared (it made so little sense that I had been wondering if she'd found this crazy blog of mine!), and apparently she didn't. I don't take for granted that she is actually going to go out with me again, but hey - it looks pretty darn good again. Considering that I originally thought I would never contact her again, this could be an amazing development if our relationship gets going again.

Funny thing - something extremely similar happened after my first second-date. In both cases, I was 99% sure the girl was done with me, but things turned out to be in the other 1% (well, this time, we at least hope the hospital story is legit). This time, I started to question everything. It all seemed so perfect - what could I have done wrong? I even started thinking that maybe she'd lost interest because I didn't kiss her. So, I owe an apology to hanging out the wash. Her advice about not making such a big deal out of the kissing was probably right indeed. In fact, I think she's been right about everything so far :-)

Now, back to today's event. I headed out to meet and pick up my new friend (!!!). After talking to her on the phone and seeing her on facebook, I felt very near 100% sure that this would go well.

And it did. I picked her up, and we went to a bowling alley. She said the place was shady, so she directed me to a pool hall she knew downtown. And it was no problem - I never felt any anxiety with her. None at all! We played pool, ate, and talked.

And talked. And talked. It was absolutely nothing like the conversation on the dates I'm always blogging about. Nope. I wasn't trying to think of conversation topics. I wasn't trying out new conversation techniques, or old ones, for that matter. There were no silences to label with "awkward" or not. It wasn't her doing 85% of the talking, and it wasn't me mostly just asking questions. Nope. It was absolutely nothing like those dates.

What then, was it like? It was just like the way it is with the first friend I made along the way here. It saves me a heck of a lot of writing to describe it, because it suffices to say that I was completely myself. It was interesting to actually see what I'm like socially: I tend to forget, since being 100% comfortable is such a rare thing for me. We argued about a bunch of stuff - all in fun, of course! Not the slightest shred of inhibition on either side (for perspective: we were both a little wild. Me just as much as her, even though she drank 3 gin and tonics, while I only had 2 Sprites).

That's pretty much it. Some side notes: I met this girl on craig's list. You might think there is something weird going on with most of the people who post ads on craig's list, and hey - you might be right. But I've responded to maybe 100 of those things, and now have made 2 friends (!!!) from there. Two great girls without issues. In fact....this girl is so cool! She offered to invite me to some sorority parties, and to a strip club in a couple weeks when she goes with her friends. She has a lot of friends (462 on facebook), some of whom were calling her while we were hanging out. So many friends that it makes me wonder why she wanted to meet someone new from craig's list. Did she have something in mind that wasn't really strictly platonic? Nope. We had a rather lengthy discussion about the girls and types of girls I'm attracted to, and the guys and type of guys she's attracted to. I was pretty sure after this that we were just friends. And heck - as it turns out, this girl is very attractive, too!

I think being out with an attractive girl does something for a guy's image. I had two subtle, yet interesting moments with our waitress. Confidently, I looked into her eyes without looking away. She did the same - only she was the one to break the gaze, and she seemed affected. It was a connection of mutual attraction I can't really describe in words. I felt like such a stud - it was incredible. But anyway, back to my new friend: it wouldn't have been the worse thing in the world if she'd had the hots for me - but I'm glad we're just friends. My dating relationships, as every reader knows, are extraordinarily transient. Friendships can last a lifetime, and to me are absolutely priceless. I made a new friend today (if you're keeping count, I have a total of 3 now), so it was undoubtedly the best day of the mission so far.

We were together from 6:00PM to 11:40PM. We had never seen each other in person until today, and yet, it was like we'd known each other for years. It's absolutely amazing how all of the work documented in the blog about conversation skills, overcoming inhibition, and everything else is completely unnecessary in the rare cases (twice in six months) that I find someone who naturally makes me feel comfortable.