This was it.
Okay - that's an inside joke for anyone who remembers the first best night of my life, which was September 22, 2007's Date #6. But tonight, Date #19 was even better.
It was my third third-date, with the girl I met over a month ago from eHarmony. Yep - the one who disappeared for a week, and prompted one rather confused blog entry.
I was very glad that she was back in communication. I spent a couple of nights trying to think of a good third date - perhaps something that could top our laser tag second-date. Finally, something came to me. How about one of those interactive murder mystery shows? I had gone with the friend I made from craigslist, and was convinced it was the best activity ever. So I got on the Internet, and was in luck - there was one in her area. It would require me driving my date on the highway (another first), and perhaps in a congested downtown area, but hey - why not throw caution to the wind? It was my chance to exterminate the last remaining bit of my social driving anxiety (SDA?).
I had things planned to a T. Awesome, but I was probably thinking about it a little too much, and felt anxious leading up to the big day. Once everything was perfectly set and I was on my way to pick her up, my nerves diminished. But when I saw her family outside, the anxiety popped back up again. She didn't answer the phone at first, and I had some fleeting thoughts about her breaking the date, or something crazy like that.
I just needed to calm down.
When I finally heard her voice, it was just like before. I felt relaxed. Confident. I don't know what it is about this girl, but she has a calming effect on me.
And exterminate the last bit of SDA, I did. It was so easy! Now I know I can do anything when it comes to driving someone else.
The big question, as always, was the conversation. I went in, as always, with several topics in mind. But before we got going, I thought to myself - you know what? Conversation topic lists can't possibly work longterm. I ran into that problem before. So now I would stop trying to remember the topics, and use them strictly as backup. Hopefully we would naturally have enough to talk about.
And we did. I asked some questions based on the topics I'd had in mind, but mostly just when something triggered one - I didn't strain to think of anything. We made it to our venue with an easy drive, about half an hour. There were only a couple of silences, but they weren't awkward, and one of us (usually me) restarted the conversation before long each time. I was having a great time talking to her.
We arrived at about 6:15, and the show was supposed to start at 6:30. Ahh! 15 more minutes of conversation to fill. How would I manage?
But wait - there's more. There was a misprint on the tickets that said the show started at 7:30, so most of the other audience members hadn't yet arrived. We were informed that they would hold the show. That made it not 15 minutes, but an entire hour that my date and I had nothing to do but talk.
I realized that it was a good thing. I really enjoyed talking to her - the only concern was that there wouldn't be enough to say. But lo and behold! There was. We had a large table entirely to ourselves, and one of the cast members remarked that we had a "romantic table in the corner for two." He recognized the apparently obvious fact that we were a couple, and it felt good.
Alll of the extra time ended up being great, because one topic that came up was one that we could bond on. She was deathly afraid of public speaking. Needless to say, so I am! We talked about it at length, and discovered we'd had some of the same experiences, like avoiding classes requiring presentations like the plague. And thinking about any possible excuse to escape!
And now for the Weird Paragraph of the Post. At some point, I looked at her and realized just how much I liked her. I'm a super germaphobe. But she blew her nose a few times while we were out, and it didn't bother me. I knew I still wanted to kiss her. She was worth the risk of catching the Super Bug that had sent her to the hospital when she'd disappeared between dates.
Eventually, the show started. There were only 8 people in the audience (there'd been 80 the night before, so we were lucky), which meant we got to do a lot more audience participation. The show wasn't as good as the one I went to with with my friend, but my date had never been to a play like this, so it was a new experience for her.
And the date was an experience for me. I finally had this thing down. It was the first time I ever managed to pull out the chair for my date, even though I'd tried a couple times before. It was the first time I ever helped a lady put on her jacket (I've been observing other couples!), and boy did it feel good.
When the show was over, we went to the top floor of the hotel for a brief look at the beautiful view of the city - American landmarks you see on television. Then we headed back to the car. The date had been flawless so far.... it was close to the end, and I don't even have to tell you what I was thinking.
I started to feel a little anxious. But for no other reason than because things had gone really, really well, and I was looking forward to kiss #3 of my lifetime.
When we got in the car, my date stopped and thanked me for taking her out to do something so different. I intentionally avoided producing any kind of "you're welcome" response, and instead agreed that it was different, and mentioned the similar place I'd gone with my friend.
The drive home was all that stood between me and that kiss. Things remained good the whole way back. I came up with a question about something she'd told me earlier, and it sparked a good, actual conversation (both of us contributing something). Just like with the first 2 times out, I'd felt very comfortable with her all night.
Finally, we arrived back at her place. I told her I would walk her up to the house, and I did. We stopped at stairs to the front door, and she once again thanked me profusely. I just said "sure," or something like that - I wasn't paying much attention to it.
I attempted to say "good night" in her native language, a little of which I'd asked her to teach me on the way back. And then, she hugged me. But she didn't just hug me! She (I think) actually tried to kiss me at the same time, but I sort of turned my face inadvertently, and she just got my cheek.
I had held off and waited instead of trying to kiss her after our second date. The reward? A completely natural moment tonight. We liked each other so much! After the hug, we immediately kissed. It felt like we both let it linger, and it was perfect. I then told her to have a good night (this time in English), and that was it.
Immediately afterwards, all of my anxiety disappeared, being replaced only by extreme happiness. I'd wondered first how I would ever get to such a moment in my life, and later, how I would get back here after it didn't work out with the first girl I dated multiple times. But things are much different than they were with that first girl. With her, I was absolutely amazed that I even made it as far as I did, because I was never really even all that close to being myself with her. This time around, I feel unusually relaxed and confident with the girl, and she seems to like me at least just as much as I like her.
Things are really, really good right now. A high water mark for the mission.
Okay - that's an inside joke for anyone who remembers the first best night of my life, which was September 22, 2007's Date #6. But tonight, Date #19 was even better.
It was my third third-date, with the girl I met over a month ago from eHarmony. Yep - the one who disappeared for a week, and prompted one rather confused blog entry.
I was very glad that she was back in communication. I spent a couple of nights trying to think of a good third date - perhaps something that could top our laser tag second-date. Finally, something came to me. How about one of those interactive murder mystery shows? I had gone with the friend I made from craigslist, and was convinced it was the best activity ever. So I got on the Internet, and was in luck - there was one in her area. It would require me driving my date on the highway (another first), and perhaps in a congested downtown area, but hey - why not throw caution to the wind? It was my chance to exterminate the last remaining bit of my social driving anxiety (SDA?).
I had things planned to a T. Awesome, but I was probably thinking about it a little too much, and felt anxious leading up to the big day. Once everything was perfectly set and I was on my way to pick her up, my nerves diminished. But when I saw her family outside, the anxiety popped back up again. She didn't answer the phone at first, and I had some fleeting thoughts about her breaking the date, or something crazy like that.
I just needed to calm down.
When I finally heard her voice, it was just like before. I felt relaxed. Confident. I don't know what it is about this girl, but she has a calming effect on me.
And exterminate the last bit of SDA, I did. It was so easy! Now I know I can do anything when it comes to driving someone else.
The big question, as always, was the conversation. I went in, as always, with several topics in mind. But before we got going, I thought to myself - you know what? Conversation topic lists can't possibly work longterm. I ran into that problem before. So now I would stop trying to remember the topics, and use them strictly as backup. Hopefully we would naturally have enough to talk about.
And we did. I asked some questions based on the topics I'd had in mind, but mostly just when something triggered one - I didn't strain to think of anything. We made it to our venue with an easy drive, about half an hour. There were only a couple of silences, but they weren't awkward, and one of us (usually me) restarted the conversation before long each time. I was having a great time talking to her.
We arrived at about 6:15, and the show was supposed to start at 6:30. Ahh! 15 more minutes of conversation to fill. How would I manage?
But wait - there's more. There was a misprint on the tickets that said the show started at 7:30, so most of the other audience members hadn't yet arrived. We were informed that they would hold the show. That made it not 15 minutes, but an entire hour that my date and I had nothing to do but talk.
I realized that it was a good thing. I really enjoyed talking to her - the only concern was that there wouldn't be enough to say. But lo and behold! There was. We had a large table entirely to ourselves, and one of the cast members remarked that we had a "romantic table in the corner for two." He recognized the apparently obvious fact that we were a couple, and it felt good.
Alll of the extra time ended up being great, because one topic that came up was one that we could bond on. She was deathly afraid of public speaking. Needless to say, so I am! We talked about it at length, and discovered we'd had some of the same experiences, like avoiding classes requiring presentations like the plague. And thinking about any possible excuse to escape!
And now for the Weird Paragraph of the Post. At some point, I looked at her and realized just how much I liked her. I'm a super germaphobe. But she blew her nose a few times while we were out, and it didn't bother me. I knew I still wanted to kiss her. She was worth the risk of catching the Super Bug that had sent her to the hospital when she'd disappeared between dates.
Eventually, the show started. There were only 8 people in the audience (there'd been 80 the night before, so we were lucky), which meant we got to do a lot more audience participation. The show wasn't as good as the one I went to with with my friend, but my date had never been to a play like this, so it was a new experience for her.
And the date was an experience for me. I finally had this thing down. It was the first time I ever managed to pull out the chair for my date, even though I'd tried a couple times before. It was the first time I ever helped a lady put on her jacket (I've been observing other couples!), and boy did it feel good.
When the show was over, we went to the top floor of the hotel for a brief look at the beautiful view of the city - American landmarks you see on television. Then we headed back to the car. The date had been flawless so far.... it was close to the end, and I don't even have to tell you what I was thinking.
I started to feel a little anxious. But for no other reason than because things had gone really, really well, and I was looking forward to kiss #3 of my lifetime.
When we got in the car, my date stopped and thanked me for taking her out to do something so different. I intentionally avoided producing any kind of "you're welcome" response, and instead agreed that it was different, and mentioned the similar place I'd gone with my friend.
The drive home was all that stood between me and that kiss. Things remained good the whole way back. I came up with a question about something she'd told me earlier, and it sparked a good, actual conversation (both of us contributing something). Just like with the first 2 times out, I'd felt very comfortable with her all night.
Finally, we arrived back at her place. I told her I would walk her up to the house, and I did. We stopped at stairs to the front door, and she once again thanked me profusely. I just said "sure," or something like that - I wasn't paying much attention to it.
I attempted to say "good night" in her native language, a little of which I'd asked her to teach me on the way back. And then, she hugged me. But she didn't just hug me! She (I think) actually tried to kiss me at the same time, but I sort of turned my face inadvertently, and she just got my cheek.
I had held off and waited instead of trying to kiss her after our second date. The reward? A completely natural moment tonight. We liked each other so much! After the hug, we immediately kissed. It felt like we both let it linger, and it was perfect. I then told her to have a good night (this time in English), and that was it.
Immediately afterwards, all of my anxiety disappeared, being replaced only by extreme happiness. I'd wondered first how I would ever get to such a moment in my life, and later, how I would get back here after it didn't work out with the first girl I dated multiple times. But things are much different than they were with that first girl. With her, I was absolutely amazed that I even made it as far as I did, because I was never really even all that close to being myself with her. This time around, I feel unusually relaxed and confident with the girl, and she seems to like me at least just as much as I like her.
Things are really, really good right now. A high water mark for the mission.
No comments:
Post a Comment