Last night was the night. The night I would try something totally new: hanging out as friends with someone I'd gone on a date with. Yep - with the girl I talked about last weekend. The one who disappeared after one e-mail of our eHarmony communication, and who then re-materialized months later, asking if I was single a few days before Valentine's Day. The one who I was somewhat awkward with on our first date, but who sent me a text immediately afterwards, saying that I was "clearly a great guy." She somehow lost interest before we could go out again, and I'd decided to experiment by texting her my true thoughts - that I thought she was "really special." She said she'd love to be friends, and so came last night....
Unfortunately, the story of last night isn't as interesting, or as good, as that recap. I picked her up, and we went to a comedy hypnosis show. As fascinating as it was, my interest in the show couldn't compare to my interest in becoming comfortable with my companion, who I hoped would become just my third (my dear, remote Facebook buddies not included) friend in this world.
Become comfortable, I did not. I felt a little "off" from the start, but not as bad as many times past. Even still, my efforts to make conversation were ineffective. I had a few things in mind going in, and asked questions - just like always. Most of the answers were brief, but that was the least of my worries.
Before long, I noticed the proverbial red flag that you and I have discovered through my dating experience. She wasn't asking me many questions! In fact, I'm pretty sure I can count on one hand the questions she asked me all night. As for intangibles, the vibes I felt from her ranged from "not good" to just plain bad. It was completely different from the day we'd met for a date. At one point, she made a wise-crack in response to something I said. It didn't feel like the comments I make when I'm teasing others. Maybe it was just that she didn't smile when she said it, but it felt somehow scornful. The ensuing awkward silence didn't break until I came up with something else to say, trying to downplay the incident. In my mind, I implored her to help me out and ask some questions - but to no avail. Lots of people have failed to ask questions, but this was worse, because she seemed to be talking minimally about herself as well.
We didn't have to speak for about 3 hours during the show, and I spent much of the time worrying about the ordeal, trying to figure out how to turn it around. I decided to try to just relax and be natural - after all, we were just hanging out as friends - but I didn't do any better afterwards.
She only lives about 10 minutes away from the comedy club, so we didn't actually spend much time chatting. I wondered what it would have been like if we had gone out to dinner together - yikes!! My overall impression was that for some reason, she didn't like much very much anymore. And I wasn't crazy about her anymore, either. I may be a little nervous sometimes, but at least I'm friendly and put forth my best effort at conversation.
And so, I'll try to brush it off and just keep moving forward. I have a date tomorrow with someone who I actually felt a friendship vibe with. How backwards! Hopefully I won't regress on that one, but regardless of how it goes, I'll do my best and just keep moving forward. As for this girl....she's been an experiment all along. Last night was a little painful, but I won't swear her off just yet. After all - I don't have anything to lose.
Unfortunately, the story of last night isn't as interesting, or as good, as that recap. I picked her up, and we went to a comedy hypnosis show. As fascinating as it was, my interest in the show couldn't compare to my interest in becoming comfortable with my companion, who I hoped would become just my third (my dear, remote Facebook buddies not included) friend in this world.
Become comfortable, I did not. I felt a little "off" from the start, but not as bad as many times past. Even still, my efforts to make conversation were ineffective. I had a few things in mind going in, and asked questions - just like always. Most of the answers were brief, but that was the least of my worries.
Before long, I noticed the proverbial red flag that you and I have discovered through my dating experience. She wasn't asking me many questions! In fact, I'm pretty sure I can count on one hand the questions she asked me all night. As for intangibles, the vibes I felt from her ranged from "not good" to just plain bad. It was completely different from the day we'd met for a date. At one point, she made a wise-crack in response to something I said. It didn't feel like the comments I make when I'm teasing others. Maybe it was just that she didn't smile when she said it, but it felt somehow scornful. The ensuing awkward silence didn't break until I came up with something else to say, trying to downplay the incident. In my mind, I implored her to help me out and ask some questions - but to no avail. Lots of people have failed to ask questions, but this was worse, because she seemed to be talking minimally about herself as well.
We didn't have to speak for about 3 hours during the show, and I spent much of the time worrying about the ordeal, trying to figure out how to turn it around. I decided to try to just relax and be natural - after all, we were just hanging out as friends - but I didn't do any better afterwards.
She only lives about 10 minutes away from the comedy club, so we didn't actually spend much time chatting. I wondered what it would have been like if we had gone out to dinner together - yikes!! My overall impression was that for some reason, she didn't like much very much anymore. And I wasn't crazy about her anymore, either. I may be a little nervous sometimes, but at least I'm friendly and put forth my best effort at conversation.
And so, I'll try to brush it off and just keep moving forward. I have a date tomorrow with someone who I actually felt a friendship vibe with. How backwards! Hopefully I won't regress on that one, but regardless of how it goes, I'll do my best and just keep moving forward. As for this girl....she's been an experiment all along. Last night was a little painful, but I won't swear her off just yet. After all - I don't have anything to lose.
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