I didn't get much sleep this week. When I started this mission over the summer, I didn't have a job, so I had all the time in the world to go on dates. Finding time was a piece of cake. Now, not so much - I get home from work at 6, and have to get up early in the morning. But I was determined to keep making progress, so yesterday I went out on my second weekday date in three nights.
I was meeting another girl from eHarmony. I only go out with girls I'm convinced there's potential with now, and they are few and far between on that site.
I had spoken to her on the phone for five minutes to set up the Starbucks meeting. I was pretty close to perfect on the phone. I decided to try what I did on the last date that had gone so well. I was going to try to be confident, and have fun with it. These blind dates are always interesting....something you should try.
And this one had a particularly interesting start. We were supposed to meet up at 8:07 at Starbucks. She sent me a text at 7:39 saying she was on her way, in case I was worried. I responded without inhibition, just as I'd communicated before my last date.
"Why would I be worried? There's no way you could pass up the chance to meet me, babe."
And then I found myself sitting at Starbucks. I looked at my watch. It was 8:30.
I called her.
No answer.
Wow. Was my perfect streak of never being stood up in about 15 Starbucks dates finally ending? Had I actually offended her with my little confidence joke?!?!
So I tried texting her; I told her I was just joking.
She texted me back. Whew! She said she was already there, and hoped she was in the right place. It turned out there was another Starbucks across the parking lot, in plain sight. Oops!
I had been getting nervous, but I immediately called her again, and felt good once I heard her voice. She was a nice, sweet girl, and wasn't standing me up to prove a point. So much for perception.
We worked it out; she drove over to my Starbucks, and then we drove back to hers at 9:00 when they kicked us out. I was pretty comfortable. Not quite as much as last time, but after a few moments with her, I was mostly free of anxiety and nervousness. I was myself!
She was great. She was one of those surprisingly-rare girls who took an interest and asked me questions. She was really just like me, pulling out nice conversation topics and being interested in what I had to say. The only difference was that she is like I eventually want to be - smooth, and natural.
And so I hadn't had time to prepare a mental list of topics, and I didn't need it. Between the two of us making an effort, it was easy to come up with plenty to talk about. We talked about all kinds of things, even politics, and found we had little things in common as well as bigger ones. Believe it or not, she randomly brought up a topic from my list: "favorite color." I told her that that yellow was a better color than pink, and somehow, the colors topic turned out to be significant. She transitioned it to other things, like clothing, remarkably using the same skill that I've been trying to master since I started this blog.
We chatted until I said we'd better go home and get ready for work in the morning.
(A side note: our e-mail conversation was completely different. Mostly, she had just asked me questions about my relationships with women...ha!....and she had wanted to know things like if I had ever cheated on a partner. This went on for several days, until I finally just told her I had never even had sex with anyone, and was the exact opposite of the jerks she'd dated before).
She said she'd text me when she got home safely (her idea), and she did. She said, "Thanks for the night and the drink!" Even before that, I'd had the impression that it was definitely a good date. For the second time in three nights, I came out of a date feeling that I didn't have to wonder about whether or not there would be another.
I was meeting another girl from eHarmony. I only go out with girls I'm convinced there's potential with now, and they are few and far between on that site.
I had spoken to her on the phone for five minutes to set up the Starbucks meeting. I was pretty close to perfect on the phone. I decided to try what I did on the last date that had gone so well. I was going to try to be confident, and have fun with it. These blind dates are always interesting....something you should try.
And this one had a particularly interesting start. We were supposed to meet up at 8:07 at Starbucks. She sent me a text at 7:39 saying she was on her way, in case I was worried. I responded without inhibition, just as I'd communicated before my last date.
"Why would I be worried? There's no way you could pass up the chance to meet me, babe."
And then I found myself sitting at Starbucks. I looked at my watch. It was 8:30.
I called her.
No answer.
Wow. Was my perfect streak of never being stood up in about 15 Starbucks dates finally ending? Had I actually offended her with my little confidence joke?!?!
So I tried texting her; I told her I was just joking.
She texted me back. Whew! She said she was already there, and hoped she was in the right place. It turned out there was another Starbucks across the parking lot, in plain sight. Oops!
I had been getting nervous, but I immediately called her again, and felt good once I heard her voice. She was a nice, sweet girl, and wasn't standing me up to prove a point. So much for perception.
We worked it out; she drove over to my Starbucks, and then we drove back to hers at 9:00 when they kicked us out. I was pretty comfortable. Not quite as much as last time, but after a few moments with her, I was mostly free of anxiety and nervousness. I was myself!
She was great. She was one of those surprisingly-rare girls who took an interest and asked me questions. She was really just like me, pulling out nice conversation topics and being interested in what I had to say. The only difference was that she is like I eventually want to be - smooth, and natural.
And so I hadn't had time to prepare a mental list of topics, and I didn't need it. Between the two of us making an effort, it was easy to come up with plenty to talk about. We talked about all kinds of things, even politics, and found we had little things in common as well as bigger ones. Believe it or not, she randomly brought up a topic from my list: "favorite color." I told her that that yellow was a better color than pink, and somehow, the colors topic turned out to be significant. She transitioned it to other things, like clothing, remarkably using the same skill that I've been trying to master since I started this blog.
We chatted until I said we'd better go home and get ready for work in the morning.
(A side note: our e-mail conversation was completely different. Mostly, she had just asked me questions about my relationships with women...ha!....and she had wanted to know things like if I had ever cheated on a partner. This went on for several days, until I finally just told her I had never even had sex with anyone, and was the exact opposite of the jerks she'd dated before).
She said she'd text me when she got home safely (her idea), and she did. She said, "Thanks for the night and the drink!" Even before that, I'd had the impression that it was definitely a good date. For the second time in three nights, I came out of a date feeling that I didn't have to wonder about whether or not there would be another.
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