Finally, Saturday evening came around. It would be the night of my first second-date in seven weeks. My first second-date since completely overcoming the force of inhibition.
I'd spoken to Autumn on the phone a couple times since our first date. I experienced a bit of the usual phone anxiety in anticipation of calling her, and felt a little stiff during the conversation. Still, though, our connection remained: we entertained each other with lighthearted humor, and the brief conversation moved along easily. She had actually been the one to call me once, just to "see what's going on." It was a nice change that put me even more at ease.
About an hour before we were supposed to get together, she sent me a text, and said she'd meet me at a Mexican restaurant.
Meet me there? I've never met anyone on one of my second dates. That would be unromantic, and it wouldn't work today, because I had plans for us.
She texted back that I could pick her up the parking lot. That she'd feel more comfortable that way, since it was only our second date.
At first, I thought she meant the parking lot of the restaurant, and I didn't feel good about it. What was the deal with this girl? I actually thought, momentarily, that maybe I should consider just telling her to forget it.
But instead, I told her it was no problem. After a few more confusing texts, I called her up, and found out that she meant the parking lot of her apartment. That seemed pretty silly (where else would I have picked her up, anyway?), but I went along with it. I knew that she was really just being consistent. After all, on our first date, she seemed to exhibit a supermodel's mentality, insisting on paying for coffee ("so I won't feel bad if I don't like you"), and telling me that she wouldn't even give her phone number to someone she'd met at a club - even me.
I was relaxed, confident, and comfortable when I made the call. I was in a rush, and didn't have any time to review conversation topics, strategies, or anything else from the blog. I drove down the street to her apartment complex, figuring I'd wing it. I remembered how easy it was talking to her before, and I recalled how much easier it is for me to talk in person instead of on the phone. I thought to myself, lists of conversation topics are not the answer, anyway. Sure, they usually help for a few hours, but this is someone I could be with indefinitely.
____________________
She got in the car, and gave me a hug. I asked how her day had been, or something like that, and I soon learned that she had stayed up all night finishing homework before her Saturday class. She had slept only an hour in the last day, but near-complete exhaustion wasn't enough for her to miss out on the chance to spend time with me again. It was a monumental difference from some of my past experiences, where I felt as if I had to chase down the other person for a date.
We chatted while I drove to our surprise destination. I was completely at ease. Completely uninhibited. It was as if I were talking to my closest friend, only I felt even more confident with Autumn. As it has been more often than not the last couple months, my state of being was fundamentally different than in those forlorn inhibited days. My voice - the instrument that embodies my inhibition, or lack thereof - was perfect. There was no tension. No tentativeness. It's hard to do justice to the difference from all of those past days, but really, it suffices to say that I was normal. In fact, better than normal. I was more like a fun, confident character on an American sitcom than the inhibited person of my past, who is now fading into a mere memory.
Soon, we arrived at a house. She couldn't have had any idea what I had planned, but she played along. I had to parallel park, and knew that my skills in that area were weak. I made a joke about it before trying. One of the remarkable differences in being uninhibited is that you say and do what you're feeling and thinking. There are few, if any, secret, internal lines of thought. Instead, you share your thoughts and feelings with others through your words and actions. You're in the moment, and by sharing, you are extroverted. It's both a means and an end. It also helps to eliminate problems like thinking of things to talk about, because a great deal of conversation naturally arises from even the smallest details shared of your thoughts. Being extroverted also fosters a connection between you and others, as your unfiltered words and actions reveal your true self.
I made a phone call, and we walked inside the house. Finally, I clued her in: we were going to be getting a psychic reading. It wasn't by design, but amazingly, it had been exactly a year since I had taken another date to visit a psychic on the day that I then proclaimed to be the best night of my life. This was my chance to experience it all again, but without limitations, and without inhibition.
We walked inside, and an older Persian woman (at least, Autumn guessed she was Persian) told us to make ourselves at home while we waited. We sat down in a beautifully decorated room with a white marble theme, and I started to make some motions as to put my hands behind my head and my feet up on the table. I was kidding around with Autumn, and got a rise out of her. It was fun.
We found a very young-looking psychic in the basement, and she raised the price on me from $20 to $45, now that she had me in front of my date, where I wouldn't back out. (Of course, I paid a ridiculous $75 last year, so this was a bargain). The psychic girl began by asking us to each make a wish while touching the tarot cards. It wasn't intended to be a wish that would come true, but I wished that I would kiss Autumn at the end of the night, and that it would go smoothly.
It was a lot like last year's reading. Instead of saying that my relationships come and go, this psychic said that I "move on from relationships fast." Again, as you know, that could be construed as being true. She also said, paramount to anything else, that I'm a person who makes my own luck. That statement pretty much sums up this blog, and my life in general. Could there be something to this psychic stuff?
The psychic also spouted off some nonsense about an ex-love interest coming back in an attempt to reclaim my heart. Someone who felt more strongly about me than I realized. It sounded an awful lot like the girl from this saga. I proclaimed to the psychic that if it came true, I would tell everyone I know to come to see her. The young psychic looked just a little nervous with that statement, and I used her as a ploy for my humor throughout the session. My date smiled, laughed, and told me to leave her alone, but for $45, I was going to get my money's worth. :-)
Just like last time, the psychic (and this was not the same psychic) mentioned that my date tends to worry a lot, and something about sickness in her family. Yikes! Like any date, this was supposed to be fun, positive, light, and funny. When she ran out of tarot cards, the psychic gave us several opportunities to ask questions. We were out of ideas, so I asked for suggestions. The psychic offered to tell us something about the two of us as a couple, but Autumn and I were on the same page: No thanks! We'd enjoy being together without any psychic predictions lurking in the our minds.
Of course, this was much different than on that date a year ago. I shared with Autumn all of my thoughts on our little experience. I told her exactly what I was thinking: that I might not have done it if I knew it were going to be heavy like that. She said that I only wanted to hear the positive half of the story, and I explained that I wasn't in it for the truth - I was doing it for fun.
When I opened the car door for Autumn, she did something I'd never seen any other woman do, and that I'd never even thought of. She leaned over and opened the driver's side door for me to get in. It was a simple gesture, but I was taken aback, and the emotion came through in my voice when I thanked her. It was the same emotion I heard in her voice when I'd opened the door for her as we left the psychic. For the first time, I was overtaken by a feeling that Autumn was a very, very special girl.
We chatted until we found a spot in the crowded parking lot of the mall. She made a joke about us parking in a spot reserved for pregnant women, and I tried to take her up on it, asking if she wanted to do it. She misinterpreted, thinking that by "do it" I was asking if she wanted to have sex. I teased her about her mind being in the gutter. We talked about the psychic's prediction of her friend trying to steal me away, and she claimed that I wasn't her friend's type because there's a nerdy quality about the way I walk. When we got out of the car, I played around with a gangster-style walk, and we continued joking around. I'd never felt better with anyone than with Autumn.
We continued our chat at dinner and, just like when we'd met for coffee, discovered more things we had in common. There was never even a momentary lull in the conversation. When I mentioned that I'd once taken a Segway tour, she said that she wasn't surprised. At the moment, I knew that she gets me. Like my friend Amorita, she understands the characteristics, like adventurously trying new things, that have come to define me since I began this blog. (We've even talked about my blog several times, without me saying exactly what I write here). Yet still, she also saw an opposite aspect of my personalty - nerdiness - that I didn't think I'd even revealed to her. Things were great, but like on the day my inhibition first died, I had virtually no appetite. Odd.
We drove back to her place, and she reclined the passenger seat. I could see that she was both very tired and very comfortable with me, as I was with her.
As we arrived at her apartment complex, she directed me all the way to her actual building. It had been only a few hours since she wanted to meet in a neutral location, but now, she had no qualms about me going to her home.
Autumn apologized, saying she was sorry that we couldn't stay out longer. I was glad to be ending the fantastic date, but she asked if I had been expecting to stay out longer, and whether I'd be okay finding something to do the rest of the night without having plans with my friends. It was about 10:30PM. Again, it was something I've never experienced with any other girl. Autumn was special, and different in that at no moment since we'd met could I question whether or not she was interested. So far, she'd always made it crystal clear that she liked me -- a lot. Perhaps she couldn't hide it, even if she wanted.
I said I'd walk her to her building.
I had never kissed on a second date, but I knew if there were ever a time, this was it. Autumn and I connected even before we met, in a way that I have yet to experience with anyone else.
She stopped when we arrived at the building door. She said thanks, or something like that, and started to hug me. At least, I thought she was going to hug me. I momentarily thought about kissing her after the hug, but about halfway through the embrace, she puckered up, and leaned in to kiss me. Our connection became physical, as our lips met for a brief, sweet moment in time. She said she'd talk to me later, and I said alright, have a good night.
It all happened so fast that I wasn't sure whether I had initiated the kiss or not. Could she have kissed me? Few guys, I'm sure, have had the experience of a woman initiating a first kiss.
Soon after I got home, she sent me a text message:
"Awkward goodbye. Sorry if i made u uncomfortable. Wasnt tryn 2 put the moves on u!"
Yep. She's special.
I'd spoken to Autumn on the phone a couple times since our first date. I experienced a bit of the usual phone anxiety in anticipation of calling her, and felt a little stiff during the conversation. Still, though, our connection remained: we entertained each other with lighthearted humor, and the brief conversation moved along easily. She had actually been the one to call me once, just to "see what's going on." It was a nice change that put me even more at ease.
About an hour before we were supposed to get together, she sent me a text, and said she'd meet me at a Mexican restaurant.
Meet me there? I've never met anyone on one of my second dates. That would be unromantic, and it wouldn't work today, because I had plans for us.
She texted back that I could pick her up the parking lot. That she'd feel more comfortable that way, since it was only our second date.
At first, I thought she meant the parking lot of the restaurant, and I didn't feel good about it. What was the deal with this girl? I actually thought, momentarily, that maybe I should consider just telling her to forget it.
But instead, I told her it was no problem. After a few more confusing texts, I called her up, and found out that she meant the parking lot of her apartment. That seemed pretty silly (where else would I have picked her up, anyway?), but I went along with it. I knew that she was really just being consistent. After all, on our first date, she seemed to exhibit a supermodel's mentality, insisting on paying for coffee ("so I won't feel bad if I don't like you"), and telling me that she wouldn't even give her phone number to someone she'd met at a club - even me.
I was relaxed, confident, and comfortable when I made the call. I was in a rush, and didn't have any time to review conversation topics, strategies, or anything else from the blog. I drove down the street to her apartment complex, figuring I'd wing it. I remembered how easy it was talking to her before, and I recalled how much easier it is for me to talk in person instead of on the phone. I thought to myself, lists of conversation topics are not the answer, anyway. Sure, they usually help for a few hours, but this is someone I could be with indefinitely.
____________________
She got in the car, and gave me a hug. I asked how her day had been, or something like that, and I soon learned that she had stayed up all night finishing homework before her Saturday class. She had slept only an hour in the last day, but near-complete exhaustion wasn't enough for her to miss out on the chance to spend time with me again. It was a monumental difference from some of my past experiences, where I felt as if I had to chase down the other person for a date.
We chatted while I drove to our surprise destination. I was completely at ease. Completely uninhibited. It was as if I were talking to my closest friend, only I felt even more confident with Autumn. As it has been more often than not the last couple months, my state of being was fundamentally different than in those forlorn inhibited days. My voice - the instrument that embodies my inhibition, or lack thereof - was perfect. There was no tension. No tentativeness. It's hard to do justice to the difference from all of those past days, but really, it suffices to say that I was normal. In fact, better than normal. I was more like a fun, confident character on an American sitcom than the inhibited person of my past, who is now fading into a mere memory.
Soon, we arrived at a house. She couldn't have had any idea what I had planned, but she played along. I had to parallel park, and knew that my skills in that area were weak. I made a joke about it before trying. One of the remarkable differences in being uninhibited is that you say and do what you're feeling and thinking. There are few, if any, secret, internal lines of thought. Instead, you share your thoughts and feelings with others through your words and actions. You're in the moment, and by sharing, you are extroverted. It's both a means and an end. It also helps to eliminate problems like thinking of things to talk about, because a great deal of conversation naturally arises from even the smallest details shared of your thoughts. Being extroverted also fosters a connection between you and others, as your unfiltered words and actions reveal your true self.
I made a phone call, and we walked inside the house. Finally, I clued her in: we were going to be getting a psychic reading. It wasn't by design, but amazingly, it had been exactly a year since I had taken another date to visit a psychic on the day that I then proclaimed to be the best night of my life. This was my chance to experience it all again, but without limitations, and without inhibition.
We walked inside, and an older Persian woman (at least, Autumn guessed she was Persian) told us to make ourselves at home while we waited. We sat down in a beautifully decorated room with a white marble theme, and I started to make some motions as to put my hands behind my head and my feet up on the table. I was kidding around with Autumn, and got a rise out of her. It was fun.
We found a very young-looking psychic in the basement, and she raised the price on me from $20 to $45, now that she had me in front of my date, where I wouldn't back out. (Of course, I paid a ridiculous $75 last year, so this was a bargain). The psychic girl began by asking us to each make a wish while touching the tarot cards. It wasn't intended to be a wish that would come true, but I wished that I would kiss Autumn at the end of the night, and that it would go smoothly.
It was a lot like last year's reading. Instead of saying that my relationships come and go, this psychic said that I "move on from relationships fast." Again, as you know, that could be construed as being true. She also said, paramount to anything else, that I'm a person who makes my own luck. That statement pretty much sums up this blog, and my life in general. Could there be something to this psychic stuff?
The psychic also spouted off some nonsense about an ex-love interest coming back in an attempt to reclaim my heart. Someone who felt more strongly about me than I realized. It sounded an awful lot like the girl from this saga. I proclaimed to the psychic that if it came true, I would tell everyone I know to come to see her. The young psychic looked just a little nervous with that statement, and I used her as a ploy for my humor throughout the session. My date smiled, laughed, and told me to leave her alone, but for $45, I was going to get my money's worth. :-)
Just like last time, the psychic (and this was not the same psychic) mentioned that my date tends to worry a lot, and something about sickness in her family. Yikes! Like any date, this was supposed to be fun, positive, light, and funny. When she ran out of tarot cards, the psychic gave us several opportunities to ask questions. We were out of ideas, so I asked for suggestions. The psychic offered to tell us something about the two of us as a couple, but Autumn and I were on the same page: No thanks! We'd enjoy being together without any psychic predictions lurking in the our minds.
Of course, this was much different than on that date a year ago. I shared with Autumn all of my thoughts on our little experience. I told her exactly what I was thinking: that I might not have done it if I knew it were going to be heavy like that. She said that I only wanted to hear the positive half of the story, and I explained that I wasn't in it for the truth - I was doing it for fun.
When I opened the car door for Autumn, she did something I'd never seen any other woman do, and that I'd never even thought of. She leaned over and opened the driver's side door for me to get in. It was a simple gesture, but I was taken aback, and the emotion came through in my voice when I thanked her. It was the same emotion I heard in her voice when I'd opened the door for her as we left the psychic. For the first time, I was overtaken by a feeling that Autumn was a very, very special girl.
We chatted until we found a spot in the crowded parking lot of the mall. She made a joke about us parking in a spot reserved for pregnant women, and I tried to take her up on it, asking if she wanted to do it. She misinterpreted, thinking that by "do it" I was asking if she wanted to have sex. I teased her about her mind being in the gutter. We talked about the psychic's prediction of her friend trying to steal me away, and she claimed that I wasn't her friend's type because there's a nerdy quality about the way I walk. When we got out of the car, I played around with a gangster-style walk, and we continued joking around. I'd never felt better with anyone than with Autumn.
We continued our chat at dinner and, just like when we'd met for coffee, discovered more things we had in common. There was never even a momentary lull in the conversation. When I mentioned that I'd once taken a Segway tour, she said that she wasn't surprised. At the moment, I knew that she gets me. Like my friend Amorita, she understands the characteristics, like adventurously trying new things, that have come to define me since I began this blog. (We've even talked about my blog several times, without me saying exactly what I write here). Yet still, she also saw an opposite aspect of my personalty - nerdiness - that I didn't think I'd even revealed to her. Things were great, but like on the day my inhibition first died, I had virtually no appetite. Odd.
We drove back to her place, and she reclined the passenger seat. I could see that she was both very tired and very comfortable with me, as I was with her.
As we arrived at her apartment complex, she directed me all the way to her actual building. It had been only a few hours since she wanted to meet in a neutral location, but now, she had no qualms about me going to her home.
Autumn apologized, saying she was sorry that we couldn't stay out longer. I was glad to be ending the fantastic date, but she asked if I had been expecting to stay out longer, and whether I'd be okay finding something to do the rest of the night without having plans with my friends. It was about 10:30PM. Again, it was something I've never experienced with any other girl. Autumn was special, and different in that at no moment since we'd met could I question whether or not she was interested. So far, she'd always made it crystal clear that she liked me -- a lot. Perhaps she couldn't hide it, even if she wanted.
I said I'd walk her to her building.
I had never kissed on a second date, but I knew if there were ever a time, this was it. Autumn and I connected even before we met, in a way that I have yet to experience with anyone else.
She stopped when we arrived at the building door. She said thanks, or something like that, and started to hug me. At least, I thought she was going to hug me. I momentarily thought about kissing her after the hug, but about halfway through the embrace, she puckered up, and leaned in to kiss me. Our connection became physical, as our lips met for a brief, sweet moment in time. She said she'd talk to me later, and I said alright, have a good night.
It all happened so fast that I wasn't sure whether I had initiated the kiss or not. Could she have kissed me? Few guys, I'm sure, have had the experience of a woman initiating a first kiss.
Soon after I got home, she sent me a text message:
"Awkward goodbye. Sorry if i made u uncomfortable. Wasnt tryn 2 put the moves on u!"
Yep. She's special.
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