If you've read some of the earliest entries in this blog, you know that my mission to defeat shyness was always intended to be multidimensional. When I set out last summer, I planned to socialize as much as possible, throwing myself into any social activity I could come up with.
I've stayed true to that to some extent. I joined a flag football team, took a dance class, got a job, and did a couple of activities I found on meetup.com and prosinthecity.com. Those were good, but it quickly became apparent that it was a lot easier for me to meet new people for 1-on-1 conversations - mostly dates. That experience has been awesome, but I'm now starting to incorporate other activities to ramp up my efforts to become socially immersed.
With 11 months of experience and immense willpower behind me, I decided to dive head-first into an activity that is completely at odds with shyness. Every Tuesday night through July, I'm spending 3 hours in an acting class.
The first day was amazing.
I wasn't sure what to expect. There was no way for me to know how many people would even be in the class. On the way there, I had a fleeting thought about the possibility of performing in front of a hundred classmates. I've mentioned it only briefly before, but a more specific topic I will revisit later in the blog is public speaking. Going from being a little boy in school to a 23-year-old graduate student, it was always a horrifying prospect for me. It didn't seem quite as bad this time, since the class was in no way mandatory (although I'd registered and paid $250). Not only that, but I was willing to incur any risk necessary to continue turning my life around.
I felt at ease once I arrived early and saw the small classroom, along with a few of my classmates. I realized it was a perfect opportunity to meet some more people and possibly make another friend, so I sat directly next to someone, and spoke. By the time everyone had arrived, there were only ten of us - certainly a manageable group.
When the teacher asked us each to briefly tell why we took the course, there were a couple of interesting responses. Several of my classmates talked about how they were taking the class to become less introverted - just like me! This was interesting. At the same time though, I was alarmed. Alarmed because these presumably "shy" classmates of mine seemed to be effortlessly expressing something private, at length, to the point where they didn't seem shy to me at all. I, on the other hand, was feeling a little anxious, and started mentally rehearsing my own response. It was somewhat feeble - a remark about wanting to try something different, since I work in science - and it was by far the shortest comment of anyone in the class. When I tell you that I'm working to overcome shyness, I mean it. To that point, even other shy people didn't seem shy compared to me.
The amazing thing about the first day of class was that it was, more than anything else, a class about not being shy. The class is based on performing improvised theater games and exercises - it's all completely interactive, and I have no choice but to stay involved. Fittingly, the instructor first talked about overcoming shyness and inhibition (though he didn't use those two words). He mentioned that even though he's been performing for over 30 years, he still feels some anxiety every time he goes on stage or even teaches a class, but that anxiety doesn't have a negative impact on his performance. He also placed a great deal of importance on thinking with the right side of our brains instead of the left. He couldn't stress this enough - when we begin to use the left side of our brains to think things over before doing them, we create inhibition, talking ourselves out of it. It was all really great material - I wish I had taken notes for us! I'll see if I can get a book with the same lessons, and put the helpful stuff into more coherent form for the blog.
As we went through the exercises, I marveled at how perfect the class was for this mission. Every topic was relevant! Projecting your voice, being expressive, being uninhibited, being in the moment, spontaneously thinking of things to say....everything!
To start things off, each of us had to come up with a stage name, and perform an inevitably silly move to follow it every time it was spoken. I did something involving a silly tone of vice, jumping up, and making flailing arm movements. I felt feelings of embarrassment, but everyone else was doing something just as silly, so I went through with it just fine, and tried not to think about it.
The next one was a doozy. We have a magic scarf, with the property that anyone wearing it becomes a mirror - meaning that the entire class has to imitate the wearer. Before long, the instructor turned on vivacious music, so that we could dance wildly, passing around the scarf for each person's dance and expressions to be mimicked, one at a time.
I can't think of many activities that would require being more uninhibited than this one. When the scarf reached me, I decided to go for it. I stopped thinking inside my head, focused outwardly, and just went for it. I was doing all kinds of crazy moves and making all kinds of silly facial expressions, and this time I didn't feel quite as embarrassed. It helped knowing that everyone in my class was in the same boat, and no one was judging me - nor should I have cared if they were! At the beginning of the class, the instructor had talked about us building a trusting environment among ourselves, where we wouldn't feel threatened doing such uninhibited things. I realized that people on the outside are really no different than a close group of classmates - it's only a matter of perception.
It was only the first day of class, but I knew what I was doing was big stuff for shy people everywhere. We did another exercise that was sheer improv acting. Two people were on stage at a time, with everyone else watching. I actually volunteered first, and spoke loudly in front of my classmates in a scene about an argument between a husband and wife (the "wife" was actually my male teacher).
To end the night, the teacher led us in song. I remembered that all the way from grade school up to that night, I had always silently mouthed the words to songs that were sang in public groups, because I was too shy to use my voice. But this time, I sang aloud, even with the person next to me - one of the expressive people who talked about how she was taking the class to be less introverted - sat quietly. After exerting my willpower for 3 hours, I was no longer the shyest person in the room.
I've stayed true to that to some extent. I joined a flag football team, took a dance class, got a job, and did a couple of activities I found on meetup.com and prosinthecity.com. Those were good, but it quickly became apparent that it was a lot easier for me to meet new people for 1-on-1 conversations - mostly dates. That experience has been awesome, but I'm now starting to incorporate other activities to ramp up my efforts to become socially immersed.
With 11 months of experience and immense willpower behind me, I decided to dive head-first into an activity that is completely at odds with shyness. Every Tuesday night through July, I'm spending 3 hours in an acting class.
The first day was amazing.
I wasn't sure what to expect. There was no way for me to know how many people would even be in the class. On the way there, I had a fleeting thought about the possibility of performing in front of a hundred classmates. I've mentioned it only briefly before, but a more specific topic I will revisit later in the blog is public speaking. Going from being a little boy in school to a 23-year-old graduate student, it was always a horrifying prospect for me. It didn't seem quite as bad this time, since the class was in no way mandatory (although I'd registered and paid $250). Not only that, but I was willing to incur any risk necessary to continue turning my life around.
I felt at ease once I arrived early and saw the small classroom, along with a few of my classmates. I realized it was a perfect opportunity to meet some more people and possibly make another friend, so I sat directly next to someone, and spoke. By the time everyone had arrived, there were only ten of us - certainly a manageable group.
When the teacher asked us each to briefly tell why we took the course, there were a couple of interesting responses. Several of my classmates talked about how they were taking the class to become less introverted - just like me! This was interesting. At the same time though, I was alarmed. Alarmed because these presumably "shy" classmates of mine seemed to be effortlessly expressing something private, at length, to the point where they didn't seem shy to me at all. I, on the other hand, was feeling a little anxious, and started mentally rehearsing my own response. It was somewhat feeble - a remark about wanting to try something different, since I work in science - and it was by far the shortest comment of anyone in the class. When I tell you that I'm working to overcome shyness, I mean it. To that point, even other shy people didn't seem shy compared to me.
The amazing thing about the first day of class was that it was, more than anything else, a class about not being shy. The class is based on performing improvised theater games and exercises - it's all completely interactive, and I have no choice but to stay involved. Fittingly, the instructor first talked about overcoming shyness and inhibition (though he didn't use those two words). He mentioned that even though he's been performing for over 30 years, he still feels some anxiety every time he goes on stage or even teaches a class, but that anxiety doesn't have a negative impact on his performance. He also placed a great deal of importance on thinking with the right side of our brains instead of the left. He couldn't stress this enough - when we begin to use the left side of our brains to think things over before doing them, we create inhibition, talking ourselves out of it. It was all really great material - I wish I had taken notes for us! I'll see if I can get a book with the same lessons, and put the helpful stuff into more coherent form for the blog.
As we went through the exercises, I marveled at how perfect the class was for this mission. Every topic was relevant! Projecting your voice, being expressive, being uninhibited, being in the moment, spontaneously thinking of things to say....everything!
To start things off, each of us had to come up with a stage name, and perform an inevitably silly move to follow it every time it was spoken. I did something involving a silly tone of vice, jumping up, and making flailing arm movements. I felt feelings of embarrassment, but everyone else was doing something just as silly, so I went through with it just fine, and tried not to think about it.
The next one was a doozy. We have a magic scarf, with the property that anyone wearing it becomes a mirror - meaning that the entire class has to imitate the wearer. Before long, the instructor turned on vivacious music, so that we could dance wildly, passing around the scarf for each person's dance and expressions to be mimicked, one at a time.
I can't think of many activities that would require being more uninhibited than this one. When the scarf reached me, I decided to go for it. I stopped thinking inside my head, focused outwardly, and just went for it. I was doing all kinds of crazy moves and making all kinds of silly facial expressions, and this time I didn't feel quite as embarrassed. It helped knowing that everyone in my class was in the same boat, and no one was judging me - nor should I have cared if they were! At the beginning of the class, the instructor had talked about us building a trusting environment among ourselves, where we wouldn't feel threatened doing such uninhibited things. I realized that people on the outside are really no different than a close group of classmates - it's only a matter of perception.
It was only the first day of class, but I knew what I was doing was big stuff for shy people everywhere. We did another exercise that was sheer improv acting. Two people were on stage at a time, with everyone else watching. I actually volunteered first, and spoke loudly in front of my classmates in a scene about an argument between a husband and wife (the "wife" was actually my male teacher).
To end the night, the teacher led us in song. I remembered that all the way from grade school up to that night, I had always silently mouthed the words to songs that were sang in public groups, because I was too shy to use my voice. But this time, I sang aloud, even with the person next to me - one of the expressive people who talked about how she was taking the class to be less introverted - sat quietly. After exerting my willpower for 3 hours, I was no longer the shyest person in the room.
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