UPDATED 7/8/08
Wow. This thing has been an amazing experience.
I decided that I wouldn't let go and give up when it looked like I was being ignored after what I thought was the best date ever. I was very close to just deleting her number and e-mails, but I decided that it just didn't make sense. She had to like me, so there had to be something else going on. I liked her so much that I couldn't get her off of my mind. When the loud buzzer of my alarm sounded this morning, I was shaken from a dream about her. I'd spent the night at times only half-asleep, with the line between thinking and dreaming blurred beyond distinction - it was all about her.
Earlier yesterday, I had decided to give up on the phone. I went back to the eHarmony message system, where I figured that no matter what was going on, she would be free to express it to me.
In the profile section called "One thing I wish other people would notice about me," she said she was very sensitive. Along with everything else, then, I'd certainly imagined the possibility that she was hurt after thinking I wasn't interested, since I hadn't told her how great of a time I'd had with her, or anything of the sort. Just now, I found out that that was indeed what had happened:
Ahh, what's up Alice? Long time no chat.... not disappearing for a month again, are you? :)
Hi J,
I have to be honest. The way you got up abruptly and said that you needed to go home, gave me the impression that I had done something to turn you off. I assumed that you did not want to see me again.
Before you scold me too harshly, keep in mind that she is sensitive. Apparently very, very sensitive. The fact of the matter is that I didn't really get up all that abruptly - it had been about an hour, and I said "Well I guess I'd better head back." It was a workday evening, and I'd driven over the border to the next state to come meet her in her own city. She said "okay" or something like that before I stood up. To me, it didn't seem bad at all, but remember - she's very sensitive.
And so, Steven's comment was right. And it makes me wonder how many other second-date opportunities might have been blown for the same reason... yikes. I'll make sure to avoid repeating anything like this going forward. In the meantime, I will think about how I can possibly get this girl to feel better and hang out with me again - I'll have to choose my words carefully, because she's very, very special.
The silver lining to this cloud, of course, is that this problem is completely contrary to any issues of shyness. Look how far we've come!
EDIT: UPDATE
The conversation continued:
Wow, Alice, I can't even tell you how sorry I am! I didn't realize I got up abruptly at all. I said I'd better head home, and I thought you said okay first. I was having a busy week with little sleep, but meeting you was definitely the highlight! I had so much fun chatting with you that I didn't think you'd have any doubt about it. I told people how amazed I was with this site for hooking us up because you don't meet people like that often. Regardless though, you got the wrong impression and that's totally my fault. In fact doubly so, because you even mentioned being sensitive on your profile and I should have been mindful of that. I know how you must have felt, which is the last thing I would have wanted, so I'm really sorry. I'd love to hang out again, so I hope you'll forgive me.
Apology accepted. I had just finished a sentence and you didn't mention being tired you just said it was time for you to head home. I said okay, but it's not like I could have stopped you! LOL. Then when we were leaving you didn't even mention hanging out again or calling me. I guess I was looking for that little hint. I'm glad you had a good time. I also enjoyed talking to you because you showed interest in things that I didn't expect you to. You have my phone number so it's okay to call me.
Wow. This thing has been an amazing experience.
I decided that I wouldn't let go and give up when it looked like I was being ignored after what I thought was the best date ever. I was very close to just deleting her number and e-mails, but I decided that it just didn't make sense. She had to like me, so there had to be something else going on. I liked her so much that I couldn't get her off of my mind. When the loud buzzer of my alarm sounded this morning, I was shaken from a dream about her. I'd spent the night at times only half-asleep, with the line between thinking and dreaming blurred beyond distinction - it was all about her.
Earlier yesterday, I had decided to give up on the phone. I went back to the eHarmony message system, where I figured that no matter what was going on, she would be free to express it to me.
In the profile section called "One thing I wish other people would notice about me," she said she was very sensitive. Along with everything else, then, I'd certainly imagined the possibility that she was hurt after thinking I wasn't interested, since I hadn't told her how great of a time I'd had with her, or anything of the sort. Just now, I found out that that was indeed what had happened:
Ahh, what's up Alice? Long time no chat.... not disappearing for a month again, are you? :)
Hi J,
I have to be honest. The way you got up abruptly and said that you needed to go home, gave me the impression that I had done something to turn you off. I assumed that you did not want to see me again.
Before you scold me too harshly, keep in mind that she is sensitive. Apparently very, very sensitive. The fact of the matter is that I didn't really get up all that abruptly - it had been about an hour, and I said "Well I guess I'd better head back." It was a workday evening, and I'd driven over the border to the next state to come meet her in her own city. She said "okay" or something like that before I stood up. To me, it didn't seem bad at all, but remember - she's very sensitive.
And so, Steven's comment was right. And it makes me wonder how many other second-date opportunities might have been blown for the same reason... yikes. I'll make sure to avoid repeating anything like this going forward. In the meantime, I will think about how I can possibly get this girl to feel better and hang out with me again - I'll have to choose my words carefully, because she's very, very special.
The silver lining to this cloud, of course, is that this problem is completely contrary to any issues of shyness. Look how far we've come!
EDIT: UPDATE
The conversation continued:
Wow, Alice, I can't even tell you how sorry I am! I didn't realize I got up abruptly at all. I said I'd better head home, and I thought you said okay first. I was having a busy week with little sleep, but meeting you was definitely the highlight! I had so much fun chatting with you that I didn't think you'd have any doubt about it. I told people how amazed I was with this site for hooking us up because you don't meet people like that often. Regardless though, you got the wrong impression and that's totally my fault. In fact doubly so, because you even mentioned being sensitive on your profile and I should have been mindful of that. I know how you must have felt, which is the last thing I would have wanted, so I'm really sorry. I'd love to hang out again, so I hope you'll forgive me.
Apology accepted. I had just finished a sentence and you didn't mention being tired you just said it was time for you to head home. I said okay, but it's not like I could have stopped you! LOL. Then when we were leaving you didn't even mention hanging out again or calling me. I guess I was looking for that little hint. I'm glad you had a good time. I also enjoyed talking to you because you showed interest in things that I didn't expect you to. You have my phone number so it's okay to call me.
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