As I'm sure you've noticed, I've been posting a lot lately. Usually, I have a date or something to talk about, but sometimes - like in the last post - I just use the blog to vent.
I vent because my endeavor is at many times a frustrating one. And I vent because I can't help but feel impatient from time to time.
Driving in my car this afternoon, I was thinking about a comment someone made on yahoo! Answers a couple months ago in response to my question "25 Dates, still no girlfriend. Any ideas?"
He (or she) said that I struggle too much, and that I should "let it come naturally."
Well, I never gave that remark much credence. Until I was almost 24 years old, I did very little to change things - let alone anything on the scale of my exploits here - and nothing came naturally. There is no reason to think that anything would have changed if I had gone about business as usual for the past year.
That said, one part of the remark was indeed true. I do struggle. I struggle to achieve peace, which I will not permanently feel until I have completely turned my life around, and can enjoy all of the things that come so naturally for most people.
I didn't mean to give the wrong impression with the last couple of posts. Things are actually going very well. It doesn't look like I'll hear back from the person I met on Date #33, but that's fine. It's surprising, because everything seemed perfect that time. But it's fine.
While my disappointment bled into the "Numbers" anniversary post, I haven't lost perspective. Date #33 actually marked the fifth date in a row that seemed to have a positive outcome. I was able to completely be myself, and it was incredible. That fact trumps everything else.
In general, even when things don't go very smoothly now, it's a lot different than when I started last summer. I've developed a lot of skills, and I'm really like a very different, much-improved person.
And, as it turns out, I do have something tangible to show for all of my progress. My date from last Sunday returned my call this afternoon, and we talked. It was great! I usually have enormous telephone anxiety, but after I missed her call, I called back without thinking about it much, and (as usual) felt relaxed as soon as the opening greetings were exchanged.
We talked about what we both did over the holiday, and I asked her a couple questions about the new hospital she works in, and about where she was when she couldn't hear our last phone conversation over the loud music. I made her laugh a couple times, and it was all very natural. I could have kept talking for a while, without difficulty, but I just went ahead and asked her what her schedule would be like next week. Then, I said "I figured we'll do something fun next week." Sure, it sounds like a perfectly unremarkable phrase, but I've never actually asked in that manner. It was really reflective of me being relaxed and being myself. We worked through our schedules, and I explained that there are Segway scooter tours in her city. We're set to do that next Sunday. I was enjoying talking to her, and realized why: it's very rare for me to talk to someone I already know on the telephone. That, and I just generally felt comfortable with her. It helps to know that the other person is so interested that they are actually pursuing you.
Lastly, back to the yahoo! Answers response about me struggling. The person who made the remark probably assumed that I try too hard when I'm on one of these dates. The good news is that I really don't have that problem. When I'm with someone - especially someone I've already met - I try to just relax and enjoy the time. That's what I'm going to continue to do next week. And from now on, I'm going to do my best to always stay positive (there's a lot to be positive about), relax, and appreciate the improvements I've made in my life since we started all this.
I vent because my endeavor is at many times a frustrating one. And I vent because I can't help but feel impatient from time to time.
Driving in my car this afternoon, I was thinking about a comment someone made on yahoo! Answers a couple months ago in response to my question "25 Dates, still no girlfriend. Any ideas?"
He (or she) said that I struggle too much, and that I should "let it come naturally."
Well, I never gave that remark much credence. Until I was almost 24 years old, I did very little to change things - let alone anything on the scale of my exploits here - and nothing came naturally. There is no reason to think that anything would have changed if I had gone about business as usual for the past year.
That said, one part of the remark was indeed true. I do struggle. I struggle to achieve peace, which I will not permanently feel until I have completely turned my life around, and can enjoy all of the things that come so naturally for most people.
I didn't mean to give the wrong impression with the last couple of posts. Things are actually going very well. It doesn't look like I'll hear back from the person I met on Date #33, but that's fine. It's surprising, because everything seemed perfect that time. But it's fine.
While my disappointment bled into the "Numbers" anniversary post, I haven't lost perspective. Date #33 actually marked the fifth date in a row that seemed to have a positive outcome. I was able to completely be myself, and it was incredible. That fact trumps everything else.
In general, even when things don't go very smoothly now, it's a lot different than when I started last summer. I've developed a lot of skills, and I'm really like a very different, much-improved person.
And, as it turns out, I do have something tangible to show for all of my progress. My date from last Sunday returned my call this afternoon, and we talked. It was great! I usually have enormous telephone anxiety, but after I missed her call, I called back without thinking about it much, and (as usual) felt relaxed as soon as the opening greetings were exchanged.
We talked about what we both did over the holiday, and I asked her a couple questions about the new hospital she works in, and about where she was when she couldn't hear our last phone conversation over the loud music. I made her laugh a couple times, and it was all very natural. I could have kept talking for a while, without difficulty, but I just went ahead and asked her what her schedule would be like next week. Then, I said "I figured we'll do something fun next week." Sure, it sounds like a perfectly unremarkable phrase, but I've never actually asked in that manner. It was really reflective of me being relaxed and being myself. We worked through our schedules, and I explained that there are Segway scooter tours in her city. We're set to do that next Sunday. I was enjoying talking to her, and realized why: it's very rare for me to talk to someone I already know on the telephone. That, and I just generally felt comfortable with her. It helps to know that the other person is so interested that they are actually pursuing you.
Lastly, back to the yahoo! Answers response about me struggling. The person who made the remark probably assumed that I try too hard when I'm on one of these dates. The good news is that I really don't have that problem. When I'm with someone - especially someone I've already met - I try to just relax and enjoy the time. That's what I'm going to continue to do next week. And from now on, I'm going to do my best to always stay positive (there's a lot to be positive about), relax, and appreciate the improvements I've made in my life since we started all this.
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